OK, I have no idea if this is the right format. But, yeah.
One. Never making any of my own work again.
Two. Never getting paid for my work again.
Three. Never getting paid again.
Four. Never having another crush.
Five. Never being the object of another crush.
Six. The fear that even my using the word crush is out of touch. Juvenile. The crux of the whole problem.
Nine. The man I once saw on the subway eating a full tub of cream cheese. Like just out of the tub.
I'm losing track of these numbers.
Being asked my opinion of a friend’s work I didn't like.
Out of the three truly terrifying images in the film Hereditary, Toni Collette floating in the attic scared me the most.
Never being as scared of any movie as I was when I was a kid.
My exes being happier without me.
My exes never thinking about me.
Loss of meaning.
Loss of purpose.
Loss of curiosity.
My voice becoming gravelly.
Walking up the stairs outside my apartment one day and realizing I can't make the full climb.
Walking my dog up the stairs outside my apartment one day and realizing my dog can’t make the full climb.
My own anger.
My friends all coupling up and having kids and I out of fear of being left behind combined with the envy I feel starting to look for things to critique them about judge them for. Until I am nothing but a critical judging shell of a person who they have every right to not text back or invite to things, thus fulfilling the prophecy that I myself set in motion.
The Apple Store.
Hipster stores in the airport.
Wanting something I can't have.
The death of cities.
Not having kids.
Everything related to the environment.
Quality, beauty, uniqueness being things only for the rich.
Class war among the old.
The fate of everyone who isn't rich.
There’s an Apple store that was put in in Williamsburg, and I feel like that really was the thing that changed it all. Like everything followed the Apple store. And I've never seen an Apple store that’s not in a mall that you can just like look through the windows while it's asleep, you know? So at night you can see the iPhones charging, right? And it looks like an army of dicks.
I'm Starlee Kine and these are 10 things that scare me.