Number one. Stepping on a nail or tack with my heel.
Number two. Really long toenails.
Number three. Biting terracotta. I think a lot of it has to do with my teeth and my front teeth. Like, they've been smashed into microphones so many times over the years. In 2012 I got kicked in the face. I was playing a show and I just, like, for a second closed my eyes, and then a crowd surfer kicked a microphone straight down my throat. I've literally, like, swallowed an SM58 and I had to pull it out of my mouth and there was just like shards of teeth. So I have this fear of just, like, losing my front teeth, or the front teeth breaking down and crumbling, and it all reminds me of terracotta.
Number four. Losing my messenger bag that has my journal in it.
Number five. Being put in jail as a transgender person. I just, you know, I was arrested when I was younger for a couple things and know what it's like being in those situations. And I know as a trans person now at this point that if I was arrested I would be put into a fucking men's jail and I don't want that. I don't want to be in that situation. That scares the shit out of me. Being that helpless, you know? Losing that much control and being in that much danger. And if it were to be for an extended period of time that would mean losing access to hormones. It's just, that, like, legitimately scares me to my core.
Number six. Being detained at passport control. People treat you totally differently. Like just going through TSA and stuff like that. I don't like the idea of being restricted or being told I can't go somewhere. You know?
Number seven. Animal testing.
Number eight. Guns. Someone makes a gun and you have to know that you just made something that's, like, designed to kill. That gun doesn't depend on air, you know, and eating. Like, it'll keep being a gun after the person who first buys it dies. And, like, the odds are that that gun will eventually take life in some way, since it's a fucking gun, and that's what it's fucking designed to do is to fucking take away life. Again, so many of these things are, like, things that I understand are complicated issues that people can debate. And, like, there are two sides to stuff, and you can go down those rabbit holes and fine, fine, fine, whatever. But I'm saying that these things terrify me. These things scare me. Guns scare me, like, animal testing scares me.
Number nine. Darth Vader with the caveat if he was a real. I did ask my daughter on the ride to school this morning I talked about this. I was like hey I'm going to be doing this podcast today and I’ve got to think of things that are scary to me. And she said Darth Vader. And I was like well Darth Vader is not real and he’s not scary. And she was like, well if he was real. And as I thought about it I was like, well yeah.
Ten. Ghosts. Okay, so there's this venue in in Buffalo New York called The Town Ballroom and it it's been there for like ever. And people like Frank Sinatra used to play there. Sammy Davis Junior. And during Prohibition it used to be, like, I guess a speakeasy or something. And there was, like, a tunnel that goes from underneath the building that used to connect to another building across the street. It's all just creepy as hell. So the next time we went through town… I forget what band we were on tour with. But I was, like, check it out this place is, like, super scary and supposed to be haunted downstairs. Let me show you. So we went down there and we smoked a joint. Whatever. I turned around and, like, I just saw a little boy run in front of me and go into one of the offices and it was, like, not a fully formed person, you know? It was a spirit of a little boy, but it was there and I saw it just, like, run right in front of me. I just saw it. Straight up saw it.
My name is Laura Jane Grace and these are 10 things that scare me.
Emperor Palpatine was killing Luke. And Vader’s standing there. He'd just dueled with Luke, and Luke had won, really. You know, he, like, chopped off his hand. Whatever. And so Vader then, like, you know, looks at Palpatine, looks at Luke, looks at Palpatine, looks at Luke, and then goes and picks up Emperor Palpatine and throws him down the exhaust chute and saves the day. Saves the son, you know? And then, like, his son has this touching moment with him of taking off his helmet and seeing his father's face for the first time or whatever and Vader’s like, “My son.” But meanwhile, like, Ewoks are dying, you know? These other people have already died, like, you finally killed the emperor. There was thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of other people who suffered and died. But, you know, he's okay in the end because he did this one thing. Like, fuck that. Still, fuck him. Fucked Darth Vader. He's not redeemed in the end. You know, I'm sorry Luke Skywalker had father issues.