Number one. Grizzly bears. Especially if I'm hiking with my baby.
Number two. Dying and leaving my children without a mother.
Number three. I'm afraid of, like… I do this, and I don't like doing it, and it's made me afraid of doing it, of hurting my husband's feelings when I get really angry or hurt. I have this force field of really wanting to win. Really wanting to win the argument.
Number four. A fire after an earthquake. I was just talking to another mom who's also pregnant. I'm pregnant right now. So I think my particular fear response was inflamed by pregnancy hormones. But she was telling me about what she'd recently learned about the Hayward fault. You know, she said to me, like, we both live in these old wood homes so they'll they'll probably fare okay if the big one hits. But it's so, so dry that if there's any gas fire or gas leak that goes, the whole neighborhood could go up in flames
Number five. Getting a fact really really wrong in a story.
Number six. Losing people that I love. The temporary-ness of of them can like cause me to not be able to sleep.
Number seven. America's democracy just being incapable of achieving big things and addressing big problems. Right now, I'm afraid of that.
Number eight. Public humiliation.
Number nine. I am afraid of climate change. For a long time I felt like talking about climate change was a privilege for people who didn't have to worry about economic threats. But I've just… something clicked.
Number ten. Not having enough money in particular because I spent irresponsibly or because I didn't do a thing with my money that I was supposed to do. My money fear is really intense and it's physical. I feel it. Anytime I have to spend over a certain dollar amount my breathing gets shallow and I get anxious. This is a real thing that affects my life. I have to say to myself, like, “Life costs money, Anna. Life costs money.” And that's the thing that's also really irrational about it, is like the idea that I would just put all this money in a savings account. Like that is what would make me feel calm. If every dollar I could put in a savings account and watch the money accumulate. That's what feels soothing to me. And then my husband would be like, well, what is that for? What's that money for? It's only for my comfort. It's not for spending, it's not for saving for something nice for myself or our family. It's to manage anxiety. Like, I had to teach myself to pay for dinner when I was out with a friend as opposed to feeling like it wasn't fair. Like, well of course we’ll split it. I do feel instinctually suspect of people who are comfortable spending money. I’m like, “Are you responsible?”
I'm Anna Sale and these are 10 things that scare me