Number one. The marionettes in my mom’s bedroom. I'm a full grown adult and I will never go into my mom's bedroom alone at night because I know that there are marionettes in a box in a drawer underneath the TV in my mom's bedroom, waiting for me.
Number two. I’m scared of not knowing that I'm hurting the people around me. Sometimes I get really really caught up in the whole swirl of all the things going on in my life. Like, I’m doing so many things, and I love them, and there are other things I want to be doing that I might love, and I'm missing out on those, and time’s going so fast. I'm running out of time. Definitely sometimes forget to take a step back and focus on the relationships with the people I care about.
Number three. The child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Seriously, why was I watching that as a kid? “I smell children. Do you want chocolate candy? Ice cream? Anything your heart desires?” Fuck that.
Number four. Losing my mind. I can't really go into this one, but it’s definitely a big fear of mine.
Number five. Not liking cilantro anymore. I've always loved cilantro, and the other night making dinner, I went to throw a whole fresh bunch in my mouth, and all of a sudden it tastes like soap. Truly terrifying. I have no idea if I even like it any more.
Number six. The feeling of wanting to be supported. I don’t even know what that means. I have this big ball rolling around in my head that's just rolling me over. I don’t even know what I’m looking for there.
Number seven. Climate change. I’m part of a big group of climate activists now in this country. And now I have this big net of people, and a huge network of people that I care about, and I know that people are going to be really severely affected by climate change in the coming years and it's going to really hurt.
Eight. How tired and absent I feel sometimes, and how strong my emotions are other times. What is that?
Number nine. My mind being taken over by lists. I put this one in here not even realizing that this is a podcast of lists. But I have lists. Lists on lists. I have lists of lists. Sometimes I'm just like I’m running through fields of lists in my mind, and it's a lot.
Number ten. Never feeling like I'm going to find music that I like quite as much as the music that I'm listening to at any given moment. I always do, but for some reason I never think that I'm going to. It's a really scary feeling.
Hi my name is Sarah Duckett. And here are 10 things that scare me.