“I only got one. That's the man in the mirror. That's it. That's the only person. That's the only thing that scares the hell out of me is that man in the mirror because I know what he's capable of doing. There ain't nobody here that's bad enough for me. You know what I’m saying?”
“So you can chill out here?”
“Yeah. Yeah. There ain't no bad-ass people out here to bother me. You know what I’m saying? You know, there ain’t nobody here to test me. You don't want to test me. I got this one with me 24/7.”
“How did you guys fall in love?”
“I got pretty feet.”
“I got pretty feet. She came to me one day and said, ‘Captain, can I spend the day with you?’ I said, ‘Not ‘til you show me your feet. Let me see your feet.’ So she took off her shoes and I said, ‘Okay, you can spend the day with me.’”
“And we've been together seven years. We just got married underneath the I-90 bridge. March 18th.”
My first one is crack. Because I'm a crackhead. I started when I was 18 and I quit when I was 50. But I got a real bad alcohol problem now.
Number two. I don't see my grandchildren. Last year I was the last time I seen them.
Three is no food.
Number four. Losing all my square friends.
Number five. All the dogs in the world.
Number six. My mom and dad are still alive. So, I really am in fear of them dying because they live in Alaska and I don't. They want me to be in their life. But I can't because of my drug use or alcohol use, but still. I call them every other day.
Number seven. I'm just worried about my younger sisters. That they’ll be hit really hard by my mom and dad's death. I know they will.
Number eight. There's no more Subway sandwiches. Subway closed down because they're going to tear down the buildings. I mean, I’ve panhandled out here for seven years for a Subway sandwich and made plenty of money. But now it's closing.
Number nine. I have a friend that does jewelry. She got a wedding ring for us. I'm afraid that... well, they already got a divorce, but I am afraid that their baby might not know who the daddy is. And he's a really nice man. But they had problems.
Number ten. There's this guy out here that panhandles right there. I call him punk. He calls me bitch. Which is normal. But I haven't seen him in the last two weeks. I don't know where he's at. But I like to see him because we grew up together out here in the last seven years. That's my last fear. That he might be dead or he might be in jail. His girlfriend killed herself on the viaduct. She hung herself. He hasn't been right since, but he's been all right with us. But, you don’t know how it goes. Street life as a motherfucker.
My name is Narla and these are the 10 things that scare me.