Number one. Clowns. I don't see them as fun I see them as sinister, predatory. They're hiding behind something. And you know anytime someone hides their real nature I have to be suspect I mean that was the Klan right? They hid behind a mask. And the original Klan uniforms were actually very clownish and very colorful. And I think a big part of me says if you don't show your real self, I can't trust you. For you know in our culture black culture African based culture, the mask is a sacred thing, it's not fun times.
Number two. Amnesia. You know in Jewish tradition which I also belong to remembering is a commandment.
Number three. Heights.
Number four. Law enforcement. I've been the frequent victim of racial profiling. Assumptions have been made about me that weren't true. And even when law enforcement were called to help me it just like....Getting a lot of, you know, questions about my own culpability or responsibility in being stolen from or harmed. I don't have a very positive view of them.
Number five. Unseasoned food. You know one of the most terrifying things I ever heard of was Alfred Hitchcock having a Blue Feast. He invited everybody over and all the food was dyed blue. Everything on the table that was edible or drinkable was blue. Is this the meal in hell? I mean what's going, you know, what's going on? It was weird and it was... it was un-appetizing and off-putting. And almost like a harbinger of dread.
Number six. Velcro. I wear tights almost every day which are not cheap. I mean I'm sure that there's a lot of people out there especially boy kind who think that this is just, you know, a dollar deal. It is not. No. Decent tights go from anywhere from seven dollars a pair to thirty to ninety nine dollars a pair. In seconds: rip or pull like nooooooo! Velcro is the killer.
Number seven. I was a meme. I was in deep sorrow over the "asshole" comment made by forty five against Africa. I felt like I had people who followed me who would understand how emotionally traumatizing this was for somebody who was black of Africans decent. And I wanted to show that I was distraught and I just looked at the camera and took a picture and tweeted it out. And instead I got a whole lot of 'don't cry in front of white people'. 'If you cry and show your angst about their racism you make us look weak.'. 'You have to be brave and angry and mean' and it was horrific and it's still horrific.
Number eight. Not belonging. I mean I identify as. a Black gay Jewish person of Southern heritage. And for me, not belonging is deadly not belonging means you don't have no kinfolk you have any mishpucha, you're not part of the family. And I faced that a lot of my life. I face a lot of you know 'you're not good enough because' 'you ain't really one of us.' It feels like I'm superfluous and meaningless and shouldn't have been born.
Number nine. Underachievement. If I don't look or appear smart or this or that people just think I'm a I'm a dumb fat oaf because the expectation is if I'm gonna be a big black guy at least I should have the decency to have a football in my hand. Or to be a a hip hop genius, right? I grew up in the era where that also gave you know big brothers a little bit of flexibility. But I'm neither one of those things I'm not cool. If I reveal parts of my real self, will it mean that I won't be taken seriously?
Number. 10. And unimproved feature.
My name is Michael Twitty, and these are 10 things that scare me.
The thing I hate to think about the most are all the songs that came before recording, all around the planet, n every culture. I'm sure the most beautiful song that ever was is a lullaby we never get-- we will never hear.