Number one. Death. I've always been afraid of death. I'm afraid of never seeing the people that I love ever again, or just the chance that I would no longer exist. I'm not a very spiritual person, but I do hope there is a life after this where I can see those people again and I continue being me.
Number Two. Heights. I have always been afraid of heights. I don’t like tall buildings or roller coasters. I'll do them but I don't enjoy them.
Number three. Missing a sick patient. I'm a pediatric emergency medicine physician. And when it's busy and you try to see a lot of patients quickly there's always a chance you'll miss someone sick. Scares me every shift.
Number four. My daughter's future. I have two beautiful daughters and I worry about their future in terms of being held back because of their gender based on the current political climate. That always worries me. And also, I'm always afraid that they may experience the things I see in my patients, such as drug abuse, sexual abuse, mental health problems, early pregnancy. I hope they live lives void of these things.
Number five. Climate change. I hate how slowly we have tried to shift from our reliance on fossil fuels and the impact we have on our environment, as well as our use of plastic and what it’s doing to animals and the environment.
Number six. Not knowing I’m black. I'm half African-American and I always have this fear that people won't know that. And so, I feel like I have to go out of my way to show that to them because you'd be surprised, if someone assumes you're white, how easily the racism will come out. If that makes any sense.
Number seven. Not being able to physically protect my family. I lost weight one time, a lot of weight, and was really skinny, and I did not feel safe. Believe it or not I don't really care about guns. I'm actually afraid of guns as well, but guns didn't make this list. But basically, being able to physically protect my family.
Number eight. Not reaching my full potential. I've always wanted to start my own business, but I have guaranteed income as a physician so that's a very scary thing to walk away from. I'm not sure I'll ever have the courage to do it.
Number nine. A colleague's judgment. As physicians were always judging other physicians and critical of their care. And I'm always afraid that someone will be critical of something I've done and maybe have not practiced the most up to date or evidence based medicine. And so, although this is a bad thing it's also a good thing because it drives me to be a good physician.
And number ten. Ghosts. If I suspect any paranormal activity I'm going the other direction.
My name is Worth Barbour and these are 10 things that scare me.