I'm walking. Number one. The far end of the crawl space under my house. I remember reading once about a guy who went into his crawl space like in L.A. somewhere and there was a mountain lion living in there.
Number two. Hatchets.
Number three. Tupperware. Since I was a kid I just have really recoiled at the sight of it, especially the thicker more opaque kind. In the first Star Wars, Luke is being called to a meal with his aunt and uncle, and they're they're drinking out of these like opaque plastic cups. I didn't like that.
Number four. Shamelessness. I don't think shame is a really healthy emotion. It limits you and it holds you back. But I do think that it's sort of a check on some very bad behavior. Once you break free of that, I don't know. It's like breaking free of the earth’s atmosphere or something, and then you're just in a void.
Number five. People not understanding what I'm saying in small talk, either because I mumble, or because I phrase things weirdly, but pretending to follow along.
Number six. Feeling lonely when I'm with someone I'm close to.
Number seven. Reassembling things that I've taken apart.
Number eight. The possibility that ultimately there is no cost to being despicable. Here's the story, right? I don't know how old I must have been, like maybe nine or ten, and I was with my friend and his dad. He was driving us somewhere, and he stopped on the way to stop at this drugstore or something. And there was an older woman standing at the parking spot, and he just kind of kept driving toward her until she had to kind of scurry out of the way. And he went about, you know, sort of imitating her complaining. And I just remember being astonished that an adult was just so baldly inconsiderate. And my parents would have never done anything like that, you know?
Nine. Cancer. My father died of cancer just a few weeks after I graduated from college. I just associate that with the way people die, I guess. So, it's sort of cancer slash death.
Number ten. Regret.
My name is Jon Mooallem and these are 10 things that scare me.