Number one. Sleep paralysis. So, it’s a phenomenon that usually happens around the REM state where you wake up, and your eyes are open and you can’t move. So you don’t know if you’re having a heart attack, you’re actually paralyzed forever, etc. But some people, like myself, see apparitions, phantoms, things.
Number two. Possums hissing. I mean this is an animal that acts dead and then when you see it hissing you’re like, holy... that’s another trick you’ve got up your pouch.
Three. Tornados. So I remember one night, me and my brother were getting ready to go to my grandmother’s neighbors’ house to get in this storm shelter, which is scary anyway, a storm shelter at night, there’s there’s sirens going on, it’s dark, the lights are off, you’re in a concrete shelter and I don’t know about your grandparents, my grandparents always have a police scanner on. It is such a thing, and that’s scary too. That’s the only thing, it’s battery powered and you just hear like, tornado’s coming through. Coming through the high school. Over.
Four. Texas Chainsaw Massacre, the original.
Number five. Meth. As in, like, methamphetamines.
Number six. The band, Portal. So they all had these costumes of course, but the lead singer is this guy named The Curator and he just, his screaming sounds like like he’s both inhaling and exhaling at the same time. We gotta listen to Portal. I got it, let’s see. Come on. I mean you listen to this all the time, you’re just a psycho.
Number seven. Deviled ham.
Number eight. Aunt E.’s eye. She was my great aunt, I guess. Her name was Edith and she died in a house fire, Aunt E., God bless her soul. But she was very proper and have your shit together, and she was also missing an eye, and she had a glass eye. I think she had a few of them, and she would keep one of them on this case, this glass eye in this case and put it on her chest of drawers. I’d sneak into Aunt E.’s room and fucking take a glimpse of this glass eye that’s in this box, it was so scary man because it had eyelashes. And it was just this glass blue eye. I actually texted my grandmother this morning asking how did Aunt E. lose her eye. I just resent it.
Number nine. The writer Thomas Ligotti. So this guy, I don’t even wanna read this guy on the train ‘cuz I think people will think I’m just a freak. This book is called The Conspiracy Against The Human Race, and it’s just about how we all say, oh we should have a will to live. No, no, no. He says we should all believe in the will to die. That we should just off ourselves as soon as we come out of the womb. Just, don’t even birth.
Number ten. The woods at night.
My name is Garrett Crowe, and these are 10 things that scare me.
Here, my nanny, oh. Detached retina. She lost it from a detached retina. I don’t know how it got detached.