2. Transphobia. My husband is transgender. He transitioned three years before I met him and I don't think he worries about this, but I do. I worry about transphobia and transphobic violence and I see things that I think he's lived with his whole life. People who know me, act a certain way around him and and to him it may seem normal and and to me, I'm like, wait a moment. That person wouldn't be acting like that if they, you know, if they weren't thinking about this. What I try not to do is defend him when he doesn't want to be defended. That's been a very big lesson for me. That this is his business and my job is to support his decisions in terms of how he wants to relate the world, when he wants to speak up, when he feels safe or not. And it's similar to I worry about antisemitism when I go to the synagogue on high holy days. I worry that someone, there's going to be an act of terrorism. I've encountered increasing antisemitism up here in the Northwoods. And it's something asked me, you know, why do you why do you tell people you're Jewish if you're afraid of violence. I don't want people in my town to be able to tell themselves that they haven't met a Jew when they see things about Jews on the news. It's that simple. I don't want people in Norway or in villages where I've lived to be able to think that they've never met a Jew. I want them to see my face.
4. Social navigations. Especially as I moved from Midwestern mushing where I've known these people for years to Alaska, which is where I'll be this winter. I'm afraid that there's a sense in this community that I'm coming in as someone who hasn't proven myself yet as a musher, at least in Alaska. Right? I just am qualifying for my rookie Iditarod. I haven't, I haven't run it yet, and -
*dog bark* Oh Q got... Okay. He was out scooping dog poop. Should I start over with that one a little bit? Oh, my fear, I don't know if this is even true, but my fear is that people are looking at me and thinking who does she think she is?
5. The dogs getting hurt. I have 20 adult dogs right now, two retirees and 11 puppies. You know, I love these animals so much and I have so much love in my life and that means that you have a lot to lose.
6. Lyme disease. I was basically like stuck in bed for two years and I'm just always afraid it's going to come back. And I do still have lingering effects like sensitivity to heat, which doesn't sound like it would apply when it's 40 below, but it actually really does because when you're wearing that much clothing and then suddenly you have to run around and like run through a snowbank and then like you faint in a snowbank and your dogs are relying on you and you're in the middle of the wilderness. So, you know, Lyme disease, one of my fears.
7. Me failing the dogs.
8. Online harassment. I think that trolls are all around us and they, they're angry and just like we're all angry about different things and so they, they go online and they have this directed anger and they need someone to torment and, and I don't want that to happen to me.
9. Violence by humans. When I'm out with the dogs, I don't worry about blizzards, I don't worry about nature, I worry about humans. The storm actually doesn't give a shit about anything. It just is a storm, but a human with an agenda, and with anger is terrifying to me.
10. Not completing the Iditarod.
My name is Blair Braverman and these are ten things that scare me.
I don't have any life, dog balance. No, not at all. It's, my life is dogs.