Number one. My dog dying. I actually started thinking about that like a year after I got my dog, which was like twelve years ago. But, I live by myself. And so I just have this nonverbal relationship with my dog and I'm not going to be able to articulate my grief. So when she does die, I think I'm going to be stuck in a really, really difficult place.
Number two. Running out of things to read.
Number three. Sucking candy cutting my mouth. Ugh.
Number four. Getting a parking ticket.
Number five. My therapist. I am a little bit afraid of my therapist. Maybe I’m afraid of how much I love my therapist? Maybe I’m afraid that she sucks? Maybe I’m afraid that I suck, and that's why I love her, ‘cuz I shouldn’t? I don’t know. Anyway, I'm a bit afraid of her, often sitting in there, not talking at all.
Number six. Being too hot, especially my feet.
Number seven. Parties.
Number eight. Touching bottom. I hate touching bottom. Actually I don't really hate it when it happens but I'm very afraid of it, like when I jump into a pond, especially a freshwater thing, like a lake and you're swimming along and suddenly it gets shallower and something touches your foot and you like, I wonder if that's what guys feel like when they jump in and their balls supposedly go up into their body. I don’t even know if that's true.
Number nine. Monsters. Yes I'm still afraid of monsters. I sometimes, laying in bed at night trying to fall asleep, I'll have to like stop my brain from going to the place where there's something lurking in that dark shadow and it can hear me breathe and it's getting closer and next thing you know, if I open my eyes, it's going to be one inch away from me and jump and rip out my throat. But actually mostly monsters that I'm afraid of are more like, getting raped, and maybe I should have put that as getting raped.
Number nine. Getting raped.
Number ten. Spiders. I mean, let me clarify, because if I find a spider in my house, I leave it. I don't do anything or I scoop it up and put it outside gently because I do feel like spiders are extremely beneficial and I don't want to kill something and put a black mark on my soul. But I am afraid, like, when I go into the kayak in the spring and I put my feet in and then a spider comes running out and you're out in the middle of the lake and it’s freezing water because it's early in the year, and you can't get out of a kayak, and it’s literally trapped in there, the spider, it is a bit panic inducing for me.
My name is Amy Pearl and those are 10 things that scare me.