Transcript
The Homeland Security Chief's Commercial
December 15, 2001
BROOKE GLADSTONE: In advertising no good idea goes unstolen, so it's no wonder that other members of the Bush Cabinet would be approached for commercials of their own. We at On the Media have acquired a rough cut of a commercial that uses the public statements of Homeland Security Chief Tom Ridge. The commercial was scrapped in part because of rights and clearance issues, but also because we at On the Media invented it out of whole cloth. We present the world premiere of the spot simply called..."home." [MUSIC AND WOMAN SINGING SONG "HOME"]
TOM RIDGE: The quantity and level of threats--
MAN: I'm an American!
TOM RIDGE: -- have reached a threshold where we should once again place the public on general alert.
MAN: I'm an American!
MAN WITH ACCENT: I'm an American!
WOMAN: I'm also an American.
TOM RIDGE: Just as we have done on two previous occasions--
MAN WITH BRITISH ACCENT: Two previous occasions.
MAN WITH INDIAN ACCENT: On two previous occasions--
TOM RIDGE: -- since September 11th.
WOMAN: And I'm staying home.
MAN: I ain't going nowhere.
TOM RIDGE: I also know the very first question the American people will ask--: So, Governor Ridge--
MAN: --Governor Ridge--
MAN WITH INDIAN ACCENT: Governor Ridge, besides being vigilant--
MAN WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT: Besides being vigilant--
TOM RIDGE: Besides being vigilant, what else should my family and I do? The answer--
MAN WITH INDIAN ACCENT: Stay home!
MAN WITH SOUTHERN ACCENT: Hunker down!
WOMAN: Hole up!
TOM RIDGE: ...potential challenges to this country, smallpox is--
WOMAN: Smallpox!
MAN WITH INDIAN ACCENT: Smallpox--
TOM RIDGE: ...is-- one of them, and decided to prepare for that challenge! [SONG "HOME"]
ANNOUNCER: This message sponsored by the Frozen Dinner Council and the Barkalounger [sp?] Foundation. [SONG "HOME"]
BROOKE GLADSTONE: Coming up, teens troll the net for their health; the crawl on the Street and Bob's anthrax paranoia.
BOB GARFIELD: This is On the Media from National Public Radio.