Garfield vs. Hollywood
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BOB GARFIELD: This is On the Media. I'm Bob Garfield.
BROOKE GLADSTONE: And I'm Brooke Gladstone. According to entertainment columnists, this Academy Awards broadcast is shaping up to be more of a coronation than a competition, thanks to Peter Jackson's Return of the King. But to a bettin' man or woman, there's still a little juice in a couple of the categories -- best actor maybe, or screenplay. But what are the odds of actually getting to the Oscars in the first place? Astronomical. And what if you live and work thousands of miles from the movie business without a shred of experience or know-how? Well, that would simply be silly. And then there's Garfield. In 1998, disgusted by the selection at his local blockbuster and consumed with dreams of Oscar gold, Bob set out to save Hollywood. [CLIP FROM RETURN OF THE KING PLAYS]
WIZARD: This is your test. Every path you have trod through wilderness, through war, has led to this road. Become who you were born to be....
BROOKE GLADSTONE: It's a tale full of laughter and heartbreak that reveals what it means to be human -- and seriously full of yourself. [PERKY MOVIE MUSIC UP & UNDER]
BOB GARFIELD:In no time at all, I emerge with a four-page treatment for Belgrade, a tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia. Not to seem arrogant or anything, but I feel fairly confident in saying it will be the next Casablanca, and it will save Hollywood's soul. The only problem is, I'm not sure I know how to find the right studio to film it. [PHONE RINGING]
RECEPTIONIST: Paramount Pictures. Can I help you?
BOB GARFIELD: Is this Paramount Pictures?
RECEPTIONIST: Mm-hm.
BOB GARFIELD: May I speak to Mr. Paramount, please.
RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Paramount?
BOB GARFIELD: Yes, please.
RECEPTIONIST: There isn't any Mr. Paramount here. I'm sorry. Paramount was a -- it's just a logo name.
BOB GARFIELD: Oh.
BOB GARFIELD: As I say, this being the first time I've saved Hollywood's soul, there are a few subtleties of the industry I'm not thoroughly schooled in. [PHONE RINGING]
WOMAN: Story department.
BOB GARFIELD: Hi, this is Bob Garfield. Listen, I've got a film idea - it's the next Casablanca. [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
WOMAN: Right. I need to stop you right here, please and explain to you--
BOB GARFIELD: Y--
WOMAN: -- what the submission policy for Warner Bros. Studios is, okay?
BOB GARFIELD: Mm-hm.
WOMAN: This office can only accept story material of any type through a licensed literary agent who is also a signatory to the Writer's Guild of America.
BOB GARFIELD: Now this is the next Casablanca we're talking about-- [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
WOMAN:Right. Have to stop you right now-- that's the policy that was established by the Warner Bros. Legal Department for this office.
BOB GARFIELD:Turns out that one of Hollywood's big problems is that it doesn't have a very good mechanism for being made aware of blockbuster ideas that will transform and redeem the industry. Even when you're standing there with a silver platter bearing a transcendent tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia, you just can't believe how hard it is getting someone to take you seriously in that town!
SEAN DANIEL: Basically, you gotta crawl through any entrance, half-opened window, or temporarily opened door you can find.
BOB GARFIELD: Meet Sean Daniel, a former Universal Studios executive who in the past few years has produced such films as Dazed and Confused and Michael. A friend of a friend suggested I call him because the guy really knows the ropes. [LAUGHS] I'll say he does. Oh, what half-open window would that be, Sean? Look, he isn't explicitly requesting first crack at producing Belgrade. Why would he undermine his own negotiating position? But let's just say he isn't trying to hard to hide his intense interest under a thin veil of avuncular advice.
SEAN DANIEL: You mentioned that you have the next Casablanca. When you're out here, I want to hear the story.
BOB GARFIELD: Ok-- you don't want to hear it right now?
SEAN DANIEL: I want you to come out here, be subjected to my and everyone else's-- penetrating gaze.
BOB GARFIELD: You've got a deal.
SEAN DANIEL: Okay.
BOB GARFIELD: I will be in touch. [HANGS UP]
BOB GARFIELD: In touch? I'm going to be in clover! [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC UP & UNDER] In Fat City. Hey, Baby -- in Pict-chuz! [PLANE APPROACHING LANDING]
STEWARDESS: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you to the Los Angeles International Airport. The time here is 10:10. We'll be taxiing....
BOB GARFIELD:You can't save anyone's soul from 3,000 miles away. I didn't particularly want to come to L.A. -- not with all the sharks out here --not with El Nino -- not with Nicole's killer still on the loose -- but there's still the small formality of getting a producer on board, and that means getting a little face time with the players. My first move, therefore, is to head straight for the Raleigh Studios offices of Sean Daniel. The guy could barely contain his enthusiasm on the phone, and I can certainly envision walking away with a deal. [MUSIC CHANGE - EASTERN EUROPEAN FLAVOR] Ensconced in his office, I spin the tale set in the weary, gray, corrupt Serbian capital during pro-democracy demonstrations. [COLLAGE OF BOB PITCHING HIS STORY] On stage we see... He's famously a bachelor. He's... he's almost monkishly devoted to his ideas.... He and Fragonah debate for the first part of the film... He's in his dressing room getting undressed, and she's standing there, naked, and... And this firebrand says "Don't be a coward -this is time for cowards to step aside and let the heroes come forward." And Alexander says "Don't mistake vanity for heroism." Alexander remembers... Mentions... You know, he has an instinct, an itch that you're supposed to scratch, but in any event, he lunges at the shadow-- who's holding the gun, and he, and he winds up shot. That's the movie.
BOB GARFIELD: When I finish, he is visibly startled by the profundity, the poignancy, the simple humanity of what he has heard.
SEAN DANIEL:The fact is it's highly political and-- full of drama but a really hard sell. I mean-- Bob - Titanic - I thought you were going to come in with The Lusitania. I mean, this is meaningful, powerful and important. And, as you know, those are the qualities that we don't actually seek out a lot in moviemaking, and-- this is a tough one.
BOB GARFIELD: Can I ask you one question?
SEAN DANIEL: Anything.
BOB GARFIELD: Do you validate--?
SEAN DANIEL: Parking -- not your existence.
BOB GARFIELD:That, frankly, hurt. I was more or less expecting him to get out his checkbook, but, you know, his loss. I'm offering a timeless piece of art, which, it turns out, may be precisely my problem.
PETER BART: People who come to Hollywood with a desire to make money -- they do very well here. People who come with a desire to improve the art of cinema or to become artistes -- they tend to do badly.
BOB GARFIELD:Peter Bart, former producer, erstwhile studio executive and current editor of Daily Variety tells me to forget trying to save Hollywood's soul because Hollywood doesn't want to be saved. Instead, he encourages me to come up with a movie that a producer will imagine that the studios will imagine that the ticket-buying masses will flock to see. The thing is, this is a Thursday, and I have to get back to Washington by Monday for a dental appointment. I asked Peter my odds of leaving town with a deal in my hands.
PETER BART: Everybody's got a chance.
BOB GARFIELD: Am I going to make it?
PETER BART: No.
BOB GARFIELD: All right, all right! I'm beginning to get the message. By the time I get in to see Ron Shelton, director of Bull Durham, Tin Cup and White Men Can't Jump, it's pretty obvious that the prospects for Belgrade are-- not great. But then Ron, who's been through the wars himself puts the situation in tragic perspective.
RON SHELTON: Hollywood is in the fast food business. Hollywood is now to movies what McDonald's is to food. [ECHOING] ...what McDonald's is to food...what McDonald's is to food.
BOB GARFIELD: [IN ECHO CHAMBER] Yeah, it's a Big Mac town, and I'm standing there, in all modesty, with pheasant under glass. But what am I going to do? Give in? Sell out? Prostitute my art? Never. [CELLO BREAKS THE SPELL] But-- I could - you know - maybe slightly alter my approach just a tiny bit, just to get my foot in the door, maybe with a story that's a little more-- accessible -- one that hits a specified number of sites on the consumer marketing target -- a commercial story calculated to appeal to the limited imaginations of the Philistines who run this industry. They want cookie-cutter movies here, so if I'm ever going to get a break, maybe I ought to consider starting with a cookie-cutter movie. And so I tell Ron about this other idea I've been sort of noodling with. It's about a handsome, vacuous rich guy who gets elected president, but hates it because his wife and campaign manager are now running the country, and he's completely out of the loop -- a bird in a gilded cage -- a prisoner of the oval office who just for the subversive thrill of it starts sneaking out of the White House and pulling an ever-escalating series of pranks culminating in a bank robbery, disguised of course, in a rubber mask of himself. [COLLAGE OF BOB PITCHING HIS STORY] He peels off a 20 - she gives him change for the 20 - he takes one dollar and leaves... "Excuse me, Secretary McGill, I'm afraid I think you have mis-characterized American policy. American policy is that the compound of the American embassy..." And at the same time he's reconciled with his wife, so in the end he even finds-- true love. [A GLORIOUS CHORUS OF VOICES]
RON SHELTON: You can get a deal on that one. You can get a deal on that one. I mean I'm, I'm sure you can get a deal on that one. Because the morons that write the checks can get that. Cause that's a very sellable pitch. I mean you could go to Warner Bros. I can make a call to Warner Bros. You could get in there. I'll call right now. Watch this. [PUNCHING IN NUMBERS] Hi, it's Ron for Rob. [TRUMPETS!]
BOB GARFIELD:[LAUGHS] Incredible. So that's how it'll have to be -- sell the contrived commercial production -- then save Hollywood's soul. [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC] Ron Shelton gets me into both Warner Bros. and MGM, and sure enough, the Warner executive likes my pitch. He likes the story, [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC] he likes my delivery, the gags, the themes. The only trouble he has, his assistant later explains, is the idea of the president of the United States robbing a bank. In other words just-- the premise. [SAD MUTED TROMBONE] But then I head over to MGM to meet Gregory Foster, executive vice president for production who listens very carefully to the White House Bandit -- then, just like that, in just the way you always read about, he makes a decision that has a huge impact on my future and my finances -- who knows, [LAUGHS] maybe for years to come. [MGM MUSIC, LION ROARING] He says no.
GREGORY FOSTER: It feels like a cookie-cutter movie to me. It feels like a movie that has been conceived to try and hit certain sites on the target to be commercial. Feels enormously calculated. I would pass very quickly. Just say it's not my kind of movie - cause it's not. [EASTERN EUROPEAN MUSIC] Well, it looks like that's that. I finally maneuver myself into the offices of the decision-makers -- chances I'll probably never have again, and walk out with nothing. I have one meeting left with a producer named Al Ruddy, and then it's back to Washington -empty-handed. I mean, I'll pitch him but this guy produced The Godfather, for crying out loud, and a hundred other movies. So what's he going to say about the White House Bandit?
AL RUDDY: It's a very nice story. You're taking a schnook, basically, at the beginning, and you're going to make him a man of the people by the end. And it makes a great statement, I think. With that idea, yeah, I would probably interest -- it's a very clever idea. Really is.
BOB GARFIELD:And -- get this -- if I can find a director willing to attach himself to the project, Ruddy will finance a script. In other words, I am that close to selling this movie. Goodbye, Belgrade. Hello, The White House Bandit. [UPBEAT, SPRIGHTLY MUSIC UP & UNDER] But time is running out, so-- I call a guy named Rick Hess who's a producer but who used to be an agent and who has been helping me make connections and who has a friend named Russell Mulcahy, the Australian director of The Shadow and Highlander and a bunch of horror flicks who Rick says is looking to tackle a new genre, and Rick would be happy to fax over my treatments -- and the next thing you know--
ANSWERING MACHINE ROBOT WOMAN: Message one was received at 3:30 p.m. today.
RICK HESS: Hi, it's Rick Hess calling and-- I just want to let you know that I spoke with Russell Mulcahy. He's very interested in this. He's got people that will finance movies that he wants to do, so this is a great situation for you. Good luck.
RUSSELL MULCAHY: Very engaging, warm characters and situations. An original way of telling a story. And, and a potential for just a, just a highly mov--both moving and amusing-- and warm movie. You can say that yes, I am interested and-- take it from there.
BOB GARFIELD:He likes it. He likes it! I needed to find a director, and I found one who wants to shoot--the wrong movie. Russell Mulcahy has read both of my treatments, and the one he's infatuated with is -- Belgrade. Oh, it's a worthy story, of course, the next Casablanca and all that, but I'm pretty sure that Al Ruddy as a producer is a more interested in a frothy Washington-based comedy adventure than in, say, a tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia. Actually-- I'm very sure.
RON SHELTON: If you sell that one, you are truly, truly a great storyteller. The subject matter alone stopped me in my tracks. [LAUGHS]
BOB GARFIELD: But anyway, so here's the development. Russell loves-- Belgrade. [LAUGHS]
RON SHELTON: He did?
BOB GARFIELD: He did. He wants--
RON SHELTON: Is he taking his medicine?
BOB GARFIELD: -- a producer for one movie and a director for another. What the hell do I do now? Do I stack my chips behind the story that has to be told, or the story that's apt to be sold? To save Hollywood's soul or sell mine? [SONG CLIP, AS TIME GOES BY, FROM CASABLANCA] Who says I have to make a decision now? I have that town eating out of my hand. Maybe I'll just kick back for now and-- watch the Oscars on TV, because next year, you can be damn sure I won't be doing that. [THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT UP & UNDER] [PHONE RINGING]
BOB GARFIELD: Hi, is this the Academy of Arts and Sci--? [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
RECEPTIONIST: Arts and Sciences.
BOB GARFIELD:Yes. Hi. This is Bob Garfield calling from National Public Radio in Washington, DC. Could I reserve two seats on the aisle for the Oscars, please?
RECEPTIONIST: Are you calling as a member of the Academy or are you talking about public sale or press or what are you talking about?
BOB GARFIELD: Well, as a winner.
RECEPTIONIST: As a winner?
BOB GARFIELD: Well, I - you know, this film got produced and then--
RECEPTIONIST: If you're a nominee, then, then you get good seats.
BOB GARFIELD: Oh, good, good.
RECEPTIONIST: Okay?
BOB GARFIELD: What's the dress code?
RECEPTIONIST: The formal. Mm-hm.
BOB GARFIELD: I don't want to be too fussy. Do you think the band collar will be okay or shall, shall I get the--?
RECEPTIONIST: Sir, I, I don't know. Okay?
BOB GARFIELD: Oh, okay. Thanks for your help.
RECEPTIONIST: You're welcome. Bye.
BOB GARFIELD: Bye. [THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT UP FULL, FADES UNDER]
BROOKE GLADSTONE: Garfield's Hollywood saga was produced by Art Silverman and first aired on NPR's All Things Considered. So, Bob--
BOB GARFIELD: Yeah, Brooke?
BROOKE GLADSTONE: It's been, what-- 5, 6 years since you did that story?
BOB GARFIELD: Mm-hm.
BROOKE GLADSTONE: Two screenplays in turnaround? That's incredible. So when's the big premiere?
BOB GARFIELD: [SOTTO VOCE] Shut up. [THEME MUSIC UP & UNDER]
BOB GARFIELD: 58:00 That's it for this week's show. On the Media was directed by Katya Rogers and produced by Janeen Price, Megan Ryan and Tony Field, engineered by Dylan Keefe and Rob Christiansen, and edited by Brooke. We had help from Derek John. Our webmaster is Amy Pearl.
BROOKE GLADSTONE:Arun Rath is our senior producer and Dean Cappello our executive producer. Bassist/composer Ben Allison wrote our theme. You can listen to the program and get free transcripts and MP3 downloads at onthemedia.org, and email us at onthemedia@wnyc.org. This is On the Media, from NPR. I'm Brooke Gladstone.
BOB GARFIELD: And I'm Bob Garfield. [MUSIC TAG]
BROOKE GLADSTONE: And I'm Brooke Gladstone. According to entertainment columnists, this Academy Awards broadcast is shaping up to be more of a coronation than a competition, thanks to Peter Jackson's Return of the King. But to a bettin' man or woman, there's still a little juice in a couple of the categories -- best actor maybe, or screenplay. But what are the odds of actually getting to the Oscars in the first place? Astronomical. And what if you live and work thousands of miles from the movie business without a shred of experience or know-how? Well, that would simply be silly. And then there's Garfield. In 1998, disgusted by the selection at his local blockbuster and consumed with dreams of Oscar gold, Bob set out to save Hollywood. [CLIP FROM RETURN OF THE KING PLAYS]
WIZARD: This is your test. Every path you have trod through wilderness, through war, has led to this road. Become who you were born to be....
BROOKE GLADSTONE: It's a tale full of laughter and heartbreak that reveals what it means to be human -- and seriously full of yourself. [PERKY MOVIE MUSIC UP & UNDER]
BOB GARFIELD:In no time at all, I emerge with a four-page treatment for Belgrade, a tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia. Not to seem arrogant or anything, but I feel fairly confident in saying it will be the next Casablanca, and it will save Hollywood's soul. The only problem is, I'm not sure I know how to find the right studio to film it. [PHONE RINGING]
RECEPTIONIST: Paramount Pictures. Can I help you?
BOB GARFIELD: Is this Paramount Pictures?
RECEPTIONIST: Mm-hm.
BOB GARFIELD: May I speak to Mr. Paramount, please.
RECEPTIONIST: Mr. Paramount?
BOB GARFIELD: Yes, please.
RECEPTIONIST: There isn't any Mr. Paramount here. I'm sorry. Paramount was a -- it's just a logo name.
BOB GARFIELD: Oh.
BOB GARFIELD: As I say, this being the first time I've saved Hollywood's soul, there are a few subtleties of the industry I'm not thoroughly schooled in. [PHONE RINGING]
WOMAN: Story department.
BOB GARFIELD: Hi, this is Bob Garfield. Listen, I've got a film idea - it's the next Casablanca. [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
WOMAN: Right. I need to stop you right here, please and explain to you--
BOB GARFIELD: Y--
WOMAN: -- what the submission policy for Warner Bros. Studios is, okay?
BOB GARFIELD: Mm-hm.
WOMAN: This office can only accept story material of any type through a licensed literary agent who is also a signatory to the Writer's Guild of America.
BOB GARFIELD: Now this is the next Casablanca we're talking about-- [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
WOMAN:Right. Have to stop you right now-- that's the policy that was established by the Warner Bros. Legal Department for this office.
BOB GARFIELD:Turns out that one of Hollywood's big problems is that it doesn't have a very good mechanism for being made aware of blockbuster ideas that will transform and redeem the industry. Even when you're standing there with a silver platter bearing a transcendent tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia, you just can't believe how hard it is getting someone to take you seriously in that town!
SEAN DANIEL: Basically, you gotta crawl through any entrance, half-opened window, or temporarily opened door you can find.
BOB GARFIELD: Meet Sean Daniel, a former Universal Studios executive who in the past few years has produced such films as Dazed and Confused and Michael. A friend of a friend suggested I call him because the guy really knows the ropes. [LAUGHS] I'll say he does. Oh, what half-open window would that be, Sean? Look, he isn't explicitly requesting first crack at producing Belgrade. Why would he undermine his own negotiating position? But let's just say he isn't trying to hard to hide his intense interest under a thin veil of avuncular advice.
SEAN DANIEL: You mentioned that you have the next Casablanca. When you're out here, I want to hear the story.
BOB GARFIELD: Ok-- you don't want to hear it right now?
SEAN DANIEL: I want you to come out here, be subjected to my and everyone else's-- penetrating gaze.
BOB GARFIELD: You've got a deal.
SEAN DANIEL: Okay.
BOB GARFIELD: I will be in touch. [HANGS UP]
BOB GARFIELD: In touch? I'm going to be in clover! [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC UP & UNDER] In Fat City. Hey, Baby -- in Pict-chuz! [PLANE APPROACHING LANDING]
STEWARDESS: Ladies and gentlemen, we'd like to welcome you to the Los Angeles International Airport. The time here is 10:10. We'll be taxiing....
BOB GARFIELD:You can't save anyone's soul from 3,000 miles away. I didn't particularly want to come to L.A. -- not with all the sharks out here --not with El Nino -- not with Nicole's killer still on the loose -- but there's still the small formality of getting a producer on board, and that means getting a little face time with the players. My first move, therefore, is to head straight for the Raleigh Studios offices of Sean Daniel. The guy could barely contain his enthusiasm on the phone, and I can certainly envision walking away with a deal. [MUSIC CHANGE - EASTERN EUROPEAN FLAVOR] Ensconced in his office, I spin the tale set in the weary, gray, corrupt Serbian capital during pro-democracy demonstrations. [COLLAGE OF BOB PITCHING HIS STORY] On stage we see... He's famously a bachelor. He's... he's almost monkishly devoted to his ideas.... He and Fragonah debate for the first part of the film... He's in his dressing room getting undressed, and she's standing there, naked, and... And this firebrand says "Don't be a coward -this is time for cowards to step aside and let the heroes come forward." And Alexander says "Don't mistake vanity for heroism." Alexander remembers... Mentions... You know, he has an instinct, an itch that you're supposed to scratch, but in any event, he lunges at the shadow-- who's holding the gun, and he, and he winds up shot. That's the movie.
BOB GARFIELD: When I finish, he is visibly startled by the profundity, the poignancy, the simple humanity of what he has heard.
SEAN DANIEL:The fact is it's highly political and-- full of drama but a really hard sell. I mean-- Bob - Titanic - I thought you were going to come in with The Lusitania. I mean, this is meaningful, powerful and important. And, as you know, those are the qualities that we don't actually seek out a lot in moviemaking, and-- this is a tough one.
BOB GARFIELD: Can I ask you one question?
SEAN DANIEL: Anything.
BOB GARFIELD: Do you validate--?
SEAN DANIEL: Parking -- not your existence.
BOB GARFIELD:That, frankly, hurt. I was more or less expecting him to get out his checkbook, but, you know, his loss. I'm offering a timeless piece of art, which, it turns out, may be precisely my problem.
PETER BART: People who come to Hollywood with a desire to make money -- they do very well here. People who come with a desire to improve the art of cinema or to become artistes -- they tend to do badly.
BOB GARFIELD:Peter Bart, former producer, erstwhile studio executive and current editor of Daily Variety tells me to forget trying to save Hollywood's soul because Hollywood doesn't want to be saved. Instead, he encourages me to come up with a movie that a producer will imagine that the studios will imagine that the ticket-buying masses will flock to see. The thing is, this is a Thursday, and I have to get back to Washington by Monday for a dental appointment. I asked Peter my odds of leaving town with a deal in my hands.
PETER BART: Everybody's got a chance.
BOB GARFIELD: Am I going to make it?
PETER BART: No.
BOB GARFIELD: All right, all right! I'm beginning to get the message. By the time I get in to see Ron Shelton, director of Bull Durham, Tin Cup and White Men Can't Jump, it's pretty obvious that the prospects for Belgrade are-- not great. But then Ron, who's been through the wars himself puts the situation in tragic perspective.
RON SHELTON: Hollywood is in the fast food business. Hollywood is now to movies what McDonald's is to food. [ECHOING] ...what McDonald's is to food...what McDonald's is to food.
BOB GARFIELD: [IN ECHO CHAMBER] Yeah, it's a Big Mac town, and I'm standing there, in all modesty, with pheasant under glass. But what am I going to do? Give in? Sell out? Prostitute my art? Never. [CELLO BREAKS THE SPELL] But-- I could - you know - maybe slightly alter my approach just a tiny bit, just to get my foot in the door, maybe with a story that's a little more-- accessible -- one that hits a specified number of sites on the consumer marketing target -- a commercial story calculated to appeal to the limited imaginations of the Philistines who run this industry. They want cookie-cutter movies here, so if I'm ever going to get a break, maybe I ought to consider starting with a cookie-cutter movie. And so I tell Ron about this other idea I've been sort of noodling with. It's about a handsome, vacuous rich guy who gets elected president, but hates it because his wife and campaign manager are now running the country, and he's completely out of the loop -- a bird in a gilded cage -- a prisoner of the oval office who just for the subversive thrill of it starts sneaking out of the White House and pulling an ever-escalating series of pranks culminating in a bank robbery, disguised of course, in a rubber mask of himself. [COLLAGE OF BOB PITCHING HIS STORY] He peels off a 20 - she gives him change for the 20 - he takes one dollar and leaves... "Excuse me, Secretary McGill, I'm afraid I think you have mis-characterized American policy. American policy is that the compound of the American embassy..." And at the same time he's reconciled with his wife, so in the end he even finds-- true love. [A GLORIOUS CHORUS OF VOICES]
RON SHELTON: You can get a deal on that one. You can get a deal on that one. I mean I'm, I'm sure you can get a deal on that one. Because the morons that write the checks can get that. Cause that's a very sellable pitch. I mean you could go to Warner Bros. I can make a call to Warner Bros. You could get in there. I'll call right now. Watch this. [PUNCHING IN NUMBERS] Hi, it's Ron for Rob. [TRUMPETS!]
BOB GARFIELD:[LAUGHS] Incredible. So that's how it'll have to be -- sell the contrived commercial production -- then save Hollywood's soul. [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC] Ron Shelton gets me into both Warner Bros. and MGM, and sure enough, the Warner executive likes my pitch. He likes the story, [SPRIGHTLY MUSIC] he likes my delivery, the gags, the themes. The only trouble he has, his assistant later explains, is the idea of the president of the United States robbing a bank. In other words just-- the premise. [SAD MUTED TROMBONE] But then I head over to MGM to meet Gregory Foster, executive vice president for production who listens very carefully to the White House Bandit -- then, just like that, in just the way you always read about, he makes a decision that has a huge impact on my future and my finances -- who knows, [LAUGHS] maybe for years to come. [MGM MUSIC, LION ROARING] He says no.
GREGORY FOSTER: It feels like a cookie-cutter movie to me. It feels like a movie that has been conceived to try and hit certain sites on the target to be commercial. Feels enormously calculated. I would pass very quickly. Just say it's not my kind of movie - cause it's not. [EASTERN EUROPEAN MUSIC] Well, it looks like that's that. I finally maneuver myself into the offices of the decision-makers -- chances I'll probably never have again, and walk out with nothing. I have one meeting left with a producer named Al Ruddy, and then it's back to Washington -empty-handed. I mean, I'll pitch him but this guy produced The Godfather, for crying out loud, and a hundred other movies. So what's he going to say about the White House Bandit?
AL RUDDY: It's a very nice story. You're taking a schnook, basically, at the beginning, and you're going to make him a man of the people by the end. And it makes a great statement, I think. With that idea, yeah, I would probably interest -- it's a very clever idea. Really is.
BOB GARFIELD:And -- get this -- if I can find a director willing to attach himself to the project, Ruddy will finance a script. In other words, I am that close to selling this movie. Goodbye, Belgrade. Hello, The White House Bandit. [UPBEAT, SPRIGHTLY MUSIC UP & UNDER] But time is running out, so-- I call a guy named Rick Hess who's a producer but who used to be an agent and who has been helping me make connections and who has a friend named Russell Mulcahy, the Australian director of The Shadow and Highlander and a bunch of horror flicks who Rick says is looking to tackle a new genre, and Rick would be happy to fax over my treatments -- and the next thing you know--
ANSWERING MACHINE ROBOT WOMAN: Message one was received at 3:30 p.m. today.
RICK HESS: Hi, it's Rick Hess calling and-- I just want to let you know that I spoke with Russell Mulcahy. He's very interested in this. He's got people that will finance movies that he wants to do, so this is a great situation for you. Good luck.
RUSSELL MULCAHY: Very engaging, warm characters and situations. An original way of telling a story. And, and a potential for just a, just a highly mov--both moving and amusing-- and warm movie. You can say that yes, I am interested and-- take it from there.
BOB GARFIELD:He likes it. He likes it! I needed to find a director, and I found one who wants to shoot--the wrong movie. Russell Mulcahy has read both of my treatments, and the one he's infatuated with is -- Belgrade. Oh, it's a worthy story, of course, the next Casablanca and all that, but I'm pretty sure that Al Ruddy as a producer is a more interested in a frothy Washington-based comedy adventure than in, say, a tale of love and betrayal set against the backdrop of political upheaval in the former Yugoslavia. Actually-- I'm very sure.
RON SHELTON: If you sell that one, you are truly, truly a great storyteller. The subject matter alone stopped me in my tracks. [LAUGHS]
BOB GARFIELD: But anyway, so here's the development. Russell loves-- Belgrade. [LAUGHS]
RON SHELTON: He did?
BOB GARFIELD: He did. He wants--
RON SHELTON: Is he taking his medicine?
BOB GARFIELD: -- a producer for one movie and a director for another. What the hell do I do now? Do I stack my chips behind the story that has to be told, or the story that's apt to be sold? To save Hollywood's soul or sell mine? [SONG CLIP, AS TIME GOES BY, FROM CASABLANCA] Who says I have to make a decision now? I have that town eating out of my hand. Maybe I'll just kick back for now and-- watch the Oscars on TV, because next year, you can be damn sure I won't be doing that. [THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT UP & UNDER] [PHONE RINGING]
BOB GARFIELD: Hi, is this the Academy of Arts and Sci--? [BOTH SPEAK AT ONCE]
RECEPTIONIST: Arts and Sciences.
BOB GARFIELD:Yes. Hi. This is Bob Garfield calling from National Public Radio in Washington, DC. Could I reserve two seats on the aisle for the Oscars, please?
RECEPTIONIST: Are you calling as a member of the Academy or are you talking about public sale or press or what are you talking about?
BOB GARFIELD: Well, as a winner.
RECEPTIONIST: As a winner?
BOB GARFIELD: Well, I - you know, this film got produced and then--
RECEPTIONIST: If you're a nominee, then, then you get good seats.
BOB GARFIELD: Oh, good, good.
RECEPTIONIST: Okay?
BOB GARFIELD: What's the dress code?
RECEPTIONIST: The formal. Mm-hm.
BOB GARFIELD: I don't want to be too fussy. Do you think the band collar will be okay or shall, shall I get the--?
RECEPTIONIST: Sir, I, I don't know. Okay?
BOB GARFIELD: Oh, okay. Thanks for your help.
RECEPTIONIST: You're welcome. Bye.
BOB GARFIELD: Bye. [THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT UP FULL, FADES UNDER]
BROOKE GLADSTONE: Garfield's Hollywood saga was produced by Art Silverman and first aired on NPR's All Things Considered. So, Bob--
BOB GARFIELD: Yeah, Brooke?
BROOKE GLADSTONE: It's been, what-- 5, 6 years since you did that story?
BOB GARFIELD: Mm-hm.
BROOKE GLADSTONE: Two screenplays in turnaround? That's incredible. So when's the big premiere?
BOB GARFIELD: [SOTTO VOCE] Shut up. [THEME MUSIC UP & UNDER]
BOB GARFIELD: 58:00 That's it for this week's show. On the Media was directed by Katya Rogers and produced by Janeen Price, Megan Ryan and Tony Field, engineered by Dylan Keefe and Rob Christiansen, and edited by Brooke. We had help from Derek John. Our webmaster is Amy Pearl.
BROOKE GLADSTONE:Arun Rath is our senior producer and Dean Cappello our executive producer. Bassist/composer Ben Allison wrote our theme. You can listen to the program and get free transcripts and MP3 downloads at onthemedia.org, and email us at onthemedia@wnyc.org. This is On the Media, from NPR. I'm Brooke Gladstone.
BOB GARFIELD: And I'm Bob Garfield. [MUSIC TAG]
Produced by WNYC Studios