Bob's Anthrax Scare


December 15, 2001



BOB GARFIELD: Last Sunday morning my wife jostled me awake -- early.

MRS. GARFIELD: Garfield! I've found something in the newspaper!

BOB GARFIELD: Yeah, my wife calls me "Garfield." I call her "Dear." And I'm always delighted when she enjoys the Sunday New York Times, but if it's something like Maureen Dowd or William Saffire, they're always better after noon.

BOB GARFIELD: I'll read it later -- Dear.

MRS. GARFIELD: No, Garfield! Something in the paper!

BOB GARFIELD:She then dragged me downstairs, past the Times scattered on the dining room table, through the living room, to the front porch. She pointed to the recycling bin. There it sat, innocent and threatening at the same time --an envelope wrapped in plastic and addressed in plain block letters of precisely the sort we've become accustomed to seeing next to terrifying headlines! My wife had found it stuffed inside the newspaper! And it was addressed not to us but to someone in a neighboring community. Someone named Sawat Ibrahim [sp?]. [MIDDLE EASTERN MUSIC] I can now report how long it takes to transform from civil libertarian to racial profiler. [MUSIC STOPS DEAD] It takes one second. [MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN] Why in the world was there an envelope addressed in plain block letters to Sawat Ibrahim?! -- stuffed into my New York Times?! [MUSIC STOPS]

MAN: We're going to be more alert, the way in which we look at mail. I'm sure that's the case. [MUSIC RESUMES]

BOB GARFIELD: A thousand scenarios played out in my sleep-deprived mind. Well, actually no. One scenario played out in my mind.

NEWS

ANNOUNCER: The 38 year old employee apparently was infected after she opened a threatening letter addressed to Brokaw that contained a powdery substance. She developed a skin...

BOB GARFIELD:This lethal envelope could have been targeted somehow at the New York Times or even at --me! -- speaking in all modesty, the dean of public radio media program co-hosts residing on the upper part of Oak Ladder Court. What a sick and cowardly act! And also, I immediately understood, extremely good publicity for our show! [ON THE MEDIA THEME PLAYS]

BROOKE GLADSTONE: From WNYC in New York, this is NPR's On the Media. I'm Brooke Gladstone.

BOB GARFIELD: And I'm the famously-victimized Bob Garfield.

BROOKE GLADSTONE: [LAUGHS]

BOB GARFIELD: Then my ashen-faced wife added one more detail.

MRS. GARFIELD: I inhaled it.

BOB GARFIELD: You-- inhaled it ??

MRS. GARFIELD: There was a perfume sample in the magazine! I sniffed the newspaper!

BOB GARFIELD:That's when I called the police. There was always, of course, one other remote possibility that maybe Sawat Ibrahim was my New York Times carrier and this mysterious envelope was a solicitation for a Christmas tip, so while waiting for the cops I called the paper's circulation hotline and asked them my carrier's name, which -- they refused to provide.

MAN: I'm not going to comment on the kinds of intelligence we get.

BOB GARFIELD: I explained why I was calling and then was transferred to a supervisor who managed to penetrate New York Times security to provide the name of the guy who delivers my paper. He is a gentleman called -- Sawat Ibrahim. [SIREN] That's about when The Law showed up. I told them-- never mind -- the case was cracked. They politely explained to me that I'm the world's biggest dumbass, and then - in the presence of law enforcement - I opened the killer envelope where I found-- [WINTER WONDERLAND/SLEIGH RIDE SONG UP & UNDER] a lovely card from my good friend Sawat to his good friend -- Customer. And yes, I have a very good tip for him. Yo-- Sawat -- Learn cursive! That's it for this week's show. On the Media was produced by Janeen Price and Katya Rogers; engineered by Scott Strickland, Dylan Keefe and George Edwards, and edited-- by Brooke. We had help from Sean Landis, Giselle Foss [sp?], Andy Lanset and Allison Lichter [sp?]. Our web mistress is Amy Pearl.

BROOKE GLADSTONE:Mike Pesca is our producer at large; Arun Rath our senior producer and Dean Cappello our executive producer. Bassist/composer Ben Allison wrote our theme. You can listen to the program and get free transcripts at onthemedia.org and e-mail us at onthemedia@wnyc.org. This is On the Media from National Public Radio. I'm Brooke Gladstone.

BOB GARFIELD: And I'm Bob Garfield.