January 9, 2004


BOB GARFIELD: And speaking of New Hampshire and Iowa, Ed Schultz is hardly the only media personality to head there. Quadrennially, people like us swarm on those states like four-year locusts for whom no cliche is too threadbare, no observation too obvious, no ritual too superficial to be presented to the American public as news. Well-- let others do business that way. Working out of NPR Headquarters in Washington, DC, we decided to find the primary story to end all primary stories. A journalistic odyssey that took us first to where all journalistic odysseys begin -- the travel desk.

BOB GARFIELD: I have to get to New Hampshire. What's it going to cost us?

WOMAN: It's going to be expensive. It will probably be around 700 dollars.

BOB GARFIELD: [WHISTLES] How about Iowa? Can you - what's a -- how about Sioux City, Iowa?

WOMAN: 999.

BOB GARFIELD:999.70 -- ouch! [CAR HORN] Let the herding cattle of the press corps forage the over-grazed pasture of Iowa and New Hampshire. The nation's all-important first primary happens Tuesday in Washington, DC where the winner will amass -- well, technically zero convention delegates, but nonetheless gather priceless momentum that could propel Wesley Clark or John Kerry or John Edwards or Joseph Lieberman or Dick Gephardt to a presidential nomination. If they were on the ballot, which they aren't --although Dennis Kucinich, Carol Mosely Braun, Lyndon Larouche and a fellow named Vermin Supreme are. And so we hit the campaign trail, navigating the length and breadth of this vast and diverse city, from the mountain peaks of the Northwest to the fertile agricultural fields of the Southeast, to the factory gates of -also the Northwest. We started at the place where politicians converge to chow down on the common delicacies of the proletariat. [DINER AMBIENCE]

BOB GARFIELD: When the national press come in here, what do they usually order?

MAN:They usually order a Chili Half-Smoke. It consists of Half-Beef, Half-Pork, Smoked Sausage, Chili Cheese Fries [???] and maybe a Chocolate Shake.

BOB GARFIELD: Do you have that in a "Lite?"

MAN: No, sir.

BOB GARFIELD:No Lite, but plenty of sizzling pre-election eat here at Ben's Chili Bowl where proprietor Nissam Ali serves up cardiovascular catastrophe and tales from the trail.

BOB GARFIELD: Who you liking?

MAN: [...?...].

MAN: All of them. That's exactly who I'm voting for. Yeah, we're a restaurant here, and we're trying to be open to all.

BOB GARFIELD: Tell me, what did General Clark order when he came into Ben's?

MAN: I believe it was a couple of Half-Smokes, but I'm not sure.

BOB GARFIELD: What did Howard Dean order when he came into Ben's Chili Bowl?

MAN:You know the most popular thing, of course, is the Half-Smokes, but actually to my knowledge, the Dean supporters come - he, I don't think he's actually been here.

BOB GARFIELD: Carol Moseley Braun?

MAN: I'm not sure. Probably [a sub.]

BOB GARFIELD: John Edwards?

MAN: Not John Edwards.

BOB GARFIELD: Joe Lieberman.

MAN: He should be here, but he hasn't been here.

BOB GARFIELD: Dennis Kucinich.

MAN: He has been here.

BOB GARFIELD: Dennis Kucinich has been here. What did he order?

MAN: He ordered -- he got vegetarian chili, actually.

BOB GARFIELD:And how do you make a vegetarian chili? You lock him in the freezer -- as the dark horse candidate knows only too well. From the urban lowlands, we head the well-trodden path up to Mount Pleasant, which is much like New Hampshire's Mount Washington, although a little less -- you know --mountainous. [STAMPING ON THE GROUND]

BOB GARFIELD:[SERIOUSLY OUT OF BREATH] We've made the trek as so many have, to historic Mount Pleasant, soaring majestically almost [HEAVENLY CHOIR] 200 feet above sea level. We approach some men, typical workers wearing white hard hats -the salt of the earth, meat and potatoes, peaches and herb of the D.C. electorate. [CONSTRUCTION MACHINERY NOISES]

MAN: This is a construction area. You fall in that hole right there or get hurt, I'm liable for it. Don't make me liable.

BOB GARFIELD: Okay, thank you very much. Yes, on the perilous campaign trail, you can stumble, but onward you must march -- this time to the factory gate to intercept lunch pail-bearing workers outside the belching gear-works of throbbing industry. Now Washington happens to be a little thin in the manufacturing sector--

MAN: Welcome to the Cheesecake Factory. My name is Mark--

BOB GARFIELD: -- but nonetheless we found men and women of various heights and names and so forth bristling with anticipation. Who's getting your vote on Tuesday?

MAN: I'm not sure yet at this point.

BOB GARFIELD: Do you know who's running?

MAN: Uh-- not really.

BOB GARFIELD: Who will you be voting for in Tuesday's election?

WOMAN: What is going on Tuesday?

BOB GARFIELD: Who will you be voting for on Tuesday?

MAN: Well, I don't know who, because I can't vote -not a citizen of the United States. [BUCOLIC BLISS MUSIC]

BOB GARFIELD: And on to the Coastal Plain - the expanse of fertile loam on the banks of the mighty Anacostia River. The D.C. heartland where the Anacostia Garden Club tills the soil, and the earth yields up some sort of ornamental cabbage -- nearly 10 of them -- and above them, something colossal and unexpected.

BOB GARFIELD: What have we here?

MAN: That's just a large chair. It's a very big chair.

BOB GARFIELD:Juan Maldonado, associate general counsel of the D.C. Lottery Board, has happened by and proudly shows off a part of Washington, DC that the world seldom sees. But no, it is not a big chair. It is an enormous chair -- two stories tall, tucked away at "V" Street and Martin Luther King, Jr. Avenue, S.E. --quietly being-- the world's largest chair.

MAN: You happen to walk by it -- you take a look at it and you say "Gee - that's a big chair."

BOB GARFIELD: And so, too, the D.C. Primary -- like a gigantic piece of un-upholstered furniture, towering proudly but unseen over the inedible cabbage or cauliflower or kale or whatever of Democracy. Here in a few days' time, history will record the will of a people. Not here at the chair, necessarily, but here in the District of Columbia, and whether Howard Dean scoops up the zero delegates, or Vermin Supreme begins his long, triumphant march to the White House, it's all about the people --you - and me. And baby makes three. [MORE BLISSFUL MUSIC, FADES] [THEME MUSIC EDGES UP]

BOB GARFIELD:That's it for this week's show. On the Media was produced by Katya Rogers, Janeen Price, Megan Ryan and Tony Field. It was engineered by Dylan Keefe and Rob Christiansen. We had help from Dave Goldberg and Derek John. The producer of the D.C. Primary piece was Art Silverman. Our webmaster is Amy Pearl. Brooke is our editor. Arun Rath is our senior producer and Dean Cappello our executive producer. Bassist/composer Ben Allison wrote our theme. You can listen to the program and get free transcripts and MP3 downloads at onthemedia.org. This is On the Media from NPR. I'm Bob Garfield.

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