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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. We're going to take our last few minutes today, with Thanksgiving just barely a week away, to talk a little bit about the politics of home with-- well, here's the question, really. Some people I know, personally, are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year. The generational torch is being passed. Does that sound like you? It's a big deal when you do that for the first time. The question is, has the holiday hosting torch been passed down to you this year and what does that feel like? 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692.

For many families, hosting is generational with the older folks in charge. One person I know has an uncle who's kind of the patriarch of their family. He's 81. He sits at the head of the table. He's the one who leads the family in prayer on those religious occasions in his low, grumbly voice, I'm told. He's the MC when it comes to the rituals. This person I know said they literally can't imagine a holiday without him in the host's chair, but eventually, the torch gets passed.

I wonder if anybody's listening right now, who's going to be in your first year of hosting Thanksgiving, and how you're preparing for that, and if there's any older relative, you want to pay tribute to, as you get ready for that. 212-433-WNYC. These last few minutes for a few phone calls from people who will be hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year. How do you plan to either honor the previous generations host's traditions, or how maybe you'll be doing things a little bit differently this year, how you'll put your own spin on, or maybe a little of both?

212-433-WNYC. If you're hosting Thanksgiving for the first time this year, 212-433-9692, or tweet @BrianLehrer. If there aren't many people out there in that position, we can also take some calls with some memories of the first time you did host, even if that was in the distant past. What was that like for you at the time when the torch got passed from an older generation to you hosting Thanksgiving for the first time? What was that like? What was the honor? What was the burden? What was the delight?

How did you honor? How did you change? 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692 here in this week before Thanksgiving or tweet your story in 280 characters or less @BrianLehrer. We'll take your calls right after this. [music] Brian Lehrer on WNYC and on hosting Thanksgiving for the first time. Matt in Brooklyn is getting ready. Right, Matt?

Matt: Yes. I am going to be serving Thanksgiving dinner for the first time for my parents and some friends that live here, but don't have the time off with their work schedules to go all the way back home to wherever they're actually from. It's cool. It's exciting. Thanksgiving is also my birthday this year, so it's a big step up to do.

Brian Lehrer: Double celebration. You get cheated. I have a friend whose birthday is right around Christmas, and says, "Always got cheated." One set of presents, or they tried to split them up, but maybe it wasn't that many more presents than if the birthday was in June or something, there would have been a lot more presents. Did your parents host until this year?

Matt: My mom has always hosted Thanksgiving, and she's done a great job at it, but this year we were just like, "You know what? I want to be in New York for my birthday, and let's make it here." We're going to have them over at our little apartment. We have a 750-square-foot apartment. It's going to be packed, but it'll be nice.

Brian Lehrer: Enjoy Matt. Thanks for calling and happy birthday. Kathy in Monroe, New York, you're on WNYC. Hi, Kathy.

Kathy: Hi, Brian. Thanks for your show. I love it. I'm not actually hosting, but we used to be from Staten Island and my family always hosted. My sisters and I would share different holidays. For the first time this year, my nephew in Connecticut is hosting Thanksgiving with his lovely wife and two little people, so we're excited. I was telling the screener that he's a lot smarter than we were because he's got all of us bringing stuff. They're basically cooking the turkey, and we're bringing all the sides and all of [unintelligible 00:05:24]. We're really looking forward to it.

Brian Lehrer: That's one way to manage your Thanksgiving. It's too make it a little bit potluck and have everybody pitch in.

Kathy: Yes, we're looking forward.

Brian Lehrer: Did they tell you, "Well, we're making the turkey, so we want you to bring this or this?"

Kathy: Yes, they said, "Well, this is going to be a big deal, so could you guys chip in." Then there was this list and basically, we all pitched in, but we were so used to doing it that we were like, "Why don't I bring this," and my one sister who used to always host Thanksgiving, her cornerstone was french onion soup. That started the day, so she's bringing that. We can't have Thanksgiving without aunt Maureen's french onion soup. It will be fun.

Brian Lehrer: There you go. Friend of mine told me that her brother who's hosting for the first time has been practicing recipes and-

Kathy: Oh, cute.

Brian Lehrer: - texting her about practicing recipes, so when the real thing comes out-- it's like practicing for your concert, but it's Thanksgiving dinner. When the real thing comes out, and you're really on the dining table stage, you don't blow it. Kathy, thank you very much. Well, as you heard in the intro, I also invited people to call in about the past, whenever it was in the past that you hosted your first Thanksgiving. Lolly in Greenwich is calling to look back maybe a few months. Lolly, you're on WNYC. Hi, there.

Lolly: Hi. Well, I'm 90 years old, and I've been hosting Thanksgiving since 1963. I've been up to 35 people. Now I'm down to 14 because everybody is scattered, some are in the graveyard. I love doing it. I've got it down to a science. I don't even have to think about it anymore because if I try to make something different, my kids all say, "Where are the hot dogs? Where's the spinach dip? Where are the franks?"

Brian Lehrer: Hot dogs, spinach dip.

Lolly: Little ones in the [unintelligible 00:07:35].

Brian Lehrer: Are they the appetizers, or do you have 100 of them, and they're the main dish?

Lolly: No, that's the appetizer, and then I have the turkey, and then I have filet mignon, and real vegetables, and the whole works. It's my grandson's 18th birthday, so we're going to have a chocolate cake for him.

Brian Lehrer: Awesome, Lolly. Everybody's hearing the menu and half the listeners, they want to come over to your house on Thanksgiving. Keep it up.

Lolly: You're all welcome.

Brian Lehrer: Be careful. Careful what you say. All right. Long may you keep it up, Lolly. Thank you very much. Abigail in Brookville, you're on WNYC. Hi, Abigail.

Abigail: Hi, Brian. Thank you. I just wanted to talk about how this is not technically my first time hosting, but since I have a small family, we like to get together, and then I go to my boyfriend's huge family afterwards, and I bring over my famous vegan pumpkin pie.

Brian Lehrer: It's not going to fit in at Lolly's house with the hot dogs and the filet mignon.

Abigail: Well, I hope she has a wonderful time and God bless her.

Brian Lehrer: Well, let me say it. Probably not everybody there is a vegan, so how do you interact on Thanksgiving around that?

Abigail: My boyfriend's family is Salvadorian. They have a lot of rice, and I usually stick to that or I bring my own side with me because I don't want to inconvenience anyone. It's still fun nonetheless. They get around the table, and they share memories, and what they're thankful for. I always thought that was very sweet.

Brian Lehrer: Thanks, Abigail. Enjoy it. Nicole in Hastings-on-Hudson, you're on WNYC. Hi, Nicole.

Nicole: Hi, Brian. I have been hosting for a few years, but it started when my mother-in-law's husband died. She had to move to a smaller house, and so she asked if we would host. It's a mixed bag. It's sad that he's no longer with us and my house is pretty small. Not quite as small as your other collar but it overwhelms me to have so many people there, but it's also wonderful to all be together.

Brian Lehrer: Go ahead.

Nicole: We make the chicken and we make a bunch of sides and then my mother-in-law brings them too. They grew up with sweet potatoes and I grew up with mashed potatoes so we make that and it all works out.

Brian Lehrer: Was there anything you did for your mother-in-law surviving the death of her husband on that first year, a few years ago when she wasn't hosting for the first time?

Nicole: I think we just talked about her husband, so my stepfather-in-law. I think we just talked about him a lot. There wasn't a special, I don't think that year we went around and said what we were thankful for.

Brian Lehrer: You acknowledged them in conversation. Thanks. Nice call in on passing the torch on thanksgiving. We're going to have some more thanksgiving related, pre-thanksgiving call-ins in the days ahead. Stay tuned for those. That's The Brian Lehrer Show for today produced by Mary Croke, Lisa Allison, Amina Srna, Carl Boisrond, [unintelligible 00:11:31], and Emily Lowinger today. I'm Brian Lehrer.

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