How'd Your Indoor Weekend Activities Go?

Some areas of the U.S. suffer from "honor syndrome," and the strain to live up to reputations can lead to higher incidents of violence, risk taking, and suicide.
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Summary Transcript

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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC, and now to your calls to help us tell the story of this transitional moment through the rainy weekend, that probably forced you into indoor public activities that you hadn't been around or involved in before, and with all different kinds of levels of mask-wearing and vaccinated and unvaccinated people at this transitional moment. Lisa in West Orange, you're on WNYC. Hi, Lisa. Thanks for calling up.

Lisa: Hello. Hi Brian. Well, it was a really interesting weekend. We had to go to a wedding in Doylestown, Pennsylvania. We had never been there. We wound up eating our first dinner out at a restaurant. When we went in, the waitresses, they were not wearing masks. I was really surprised. The restrictions were lifted and, of course, everyone was vaccinated, but that felt really different. It was also--

Brian Lehrer: This was a wedding with how many people in attendance?

Lisa: Well, this was first at the restaurant, but the wedding itself had probably around 100 people. That experience, we were asked everyone to wear a mask, but then when we went into the ceremony, all of a sudden the word came down, "No, masks off now," and that was the end of that. There was the normal kissing and hugging and reconnecting throughout the night and close-talking. That was one piece. I just hope that in two weeks it was all great and everybody would be fine. It was all of a sudden. It was all over and back to what it was before.

Then in terms of the rain, we felt like, "Well, no, we're going out and exploring in the soaking rain with a big umbrella and figuring it out, and just walking around the town, and feeling everything." Everything just felt really, really meaningful. Every little thing. Even looking out from the ugly Hampton Inn, sorry Hampton Inn, trees, and a parking lot and feeling the beauty of the outside, even in a way that maybe normally I wouldn't have felt looking at Hampton Inn [crosstalk] in the lovely, charming town.

Brian Lehrer: Lisa, thank you for that story. I'm going to move on and get some other folks in, but thank you that there's so much poignancy and so many details there. Divine in the Bronx. You're on WNYC. Hello, Divine. Do we have Divine in the Bronx? Let's try to get back to Divine in the Bronx after we go to Steve in Roselle Park. Steve, you're on WNYC. Hi.

Steve: Hey Brian. I was down at the Jersey Shore town called Lavallette, and it was quite an eye-opening experience. We had to go to a food store and then we got to go to Target initially. We all put on our masks and it was like a switch was flipped and people aren't wearing masks. Eventually, we just stopped wearing masks because nobody was-- I won’t say nobody. Maybe, at first, I was seeing like half and half. Then we went to one indoor dining restaurant, which we'd made reservations before, we knew it was going to rain. That was fine, but no masks. I went to a bar yesterday and they had a sign on the door saying, "If you come in without your mask, we're assuming you're fully vaccinated." I went in, nobody had masks on. I figured I'm vaccinated so I hope that means I'm protected.

Brian Lehrer: Steve, thank you very much with that hope and yet no confirmation. Eileen in Ditmas Park, you're on WNYC. Hi Eileen.

Eileen: Hey Brian. My husband and I, we took the train. We took the Q train to Union Square on Saturday. We went to a 315 show of A Quiet Place part two. We were in the movie theater that held probably 300 people. We were maybe 15 people in the movie theater all spread out. I so enjoyed it. My husband enjoyed. It was just so great to be out in the theater and to be scared of a movie in a movie theater. It was a blast. Then we went to Old Town Bar and we had a cocktail, and then we went out to dinner, and then we went home.

Brian Lehrer: The whole thing felt good. You felt safe?

Eileen: I felt fabulous. We both felt really good. It just was so positive. People are still masked up, but I really felt safe out there. It's just so much fun.

Brian Lehrer: Eileen, thank you very much. Let's try Divine in the Bronx again. I think we him now. Hi, Divine. You're on WNYC.

Divine: How are you doing, Brian? Man, I love you all. Thank you. My son took us out, took me and my wife out with the grandkids. Him and his wife took us out. We went to BBQs and I was the only one wearing a mask. There was no one else in there wearing a mask, there was no ventilation. I was looking around and I'm like, "There's no AC, there's no open windows. What's going on? There's no fans." I was a little worried. At least that day I was the only one wearing a mask while we was waiting for food. Everyone else was just free. Even my kids, I was funny. I'm like, "You all wore a mask in the car with us, but when we got to the restaurant you all took your mask and was free. Y'all was around more people. What are you doing?"

Brian Lehrer: Did you raise this? Any of your doubts, did you raise these with other people who were there?

Divine: Slightly. I mentioned it like, "Do you all see, nobody's wearing a mask? Anybody worried?" They was like, "No, it's all right. There’s distance. It’s okay. It’s okay, everyone’s all right. Don’t worry now." I'm the only worrywart.

Brian Lehrer: So, hopefully, [crosstalk] everybody will be okay in two weeks, I guess after this Memorial Day, with all these stories we're hearing. A lot of people are going to find out how okay it was or it wasn't. Divine, thank you. Keep calling us, please. Leah in the Bronx. You're on WNYC. Hi, Leah.

Leah: Hi, Brian. Can you hear me?

Brian Lehrer: I can.

Leah: Oh, great. Long time first time. I'm calling actually just in response to questions about family members being vaccinated and unvaccinated. Over the weekend, we did a whole lot of nothing. I think that's partly because my children aren't vaccinated. My husband and I both are. We're really trying to manage the asymmetry in that. I'm seeing other families make different decisions, where they're adjusting their behavior to the vaccinated parents. We're still practicing a lot of COVID precautions, and my husband and I are both wearing masks pretty frequently outside, almost in solidarity with the kids.

I mentioned here at [unintelligible 00:07:39] that for the first time in 15 months, I'm getting a lot of resistance from my nine-year-old in wearing a mask because I think she's seeing other people who look like children to her, she's seeing other families, where they have children and they're not wearing masks. I haven't had a problem throughout the pandemic. My kids have reminded me to pull my mask up over my nose, but now it's starting to-- I think, what she perceives as this asymmetry or injustice is frustrating to her. We're still behaving until they're vaccinated. I don't know that our family is really going to make a lot of big changes.

Brian Lehrer: Leah, thank you very much. Good representation of the mish-mash moment that we're in. Another listener, kind of to this point, writes on Twitter, "We are vaccinated, our two kids aren't. Not concerned at all to take them with us everywhere on a plane, to a restaurant, movies and all. With so many vaccinated, low positivity rates, and our kids wearing masks, I'm not fretting, but the kids are wearing the masks." Dan in Randolph is going to rain on this parade a little bit, I think. Hi, Dan. You're on WNYC.

Dan: Thank you so much for taking my call. My comment was about kids wearing masks. Our kid still wears a mask generally. He's in a preschool. This week we actually had the first COVID case in his preschool. Could have been related to the lifting of the mask mandates or maybe not. These do have real implications, these choices that either-- Who knows how this happened? We've lost our childcare for 10 days now and it puts a stress on our work life and our family life now that we've lost that. People can consider some of the longer-term consequences of these seemingly small choices.

Brian Lehrer: Anywhere in terms of a message you would deliver to other parents?

Dan: Yes. I guess just to still be cautious because the virus can spread within kids and it did, and it's happened to us. Hopefully, our kid doesn't get sick from it. Their kid is sick enough to having to-- had the test to confirm that they had it. It has an effect on all the other families. It might not have even been that family's fault. It might've been some other kid nearby.

Brian Lehrer: Sure. I'm going to leave it there because we are out of time for the show. Dan, thank you. Thank you, all of you who contributed to our telling the story of this transitional moment. So many vagaries. Obviously, we'll continue to talk. Brian Lehrer on WNYC.

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