Do You Have an Empty House?

( Moyan Brenn / Flickr )

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Brian: We've just been talking about how there's no peace among the Democrats in the house of representatives, but listeners, maybe there's peace and quiet in your house for the first time in a year and a half. If so, we're opening up the phones for you right now for just a few minutes. You know who you are, you are parents of school-aged children. If you are a parent whose kids just went back to in-person school for the first time since March of 2020, and you find yourself with an empty house or apartment, how are you spending your peace and quiet this week?

Give us a call. 646 435 7280. You got the question? If you are a parent whose kids just went back to in-person school for the first time since March of 2020, and you find yourself with an empty house or apartment, how are you spending your peace and quiet this week? 646 435 7280. How does it feel? It's been such a constant of the pandemic, right? Everyone is just home and especially if you have young kids who can't be out doing things on their own, what does it feel like in your house or apartment right now? 646 435 7280.

I bet there are parents listening right now who have legitimately not been away from your children for more than a couple of hours or at all in a year and a half. Now those kids are in school. Does it feel like a piece of you is missing, empty nest syndrome with your six-year-old? Or are you in a state of euphoric relief? How are you adjusting? How are you feeling? 646 435 7280. Maybe you have just spent some time this week reflecting or contemplating the last year and a half. Our Jewish listeners may have done that yesterday for Yom Kippur, but for everyone, has your empty house this week given you some time to reflect on how you coped, what you lost, maybe what you did right or wrong, atoning for whatever or what you gained during the pandemic with all that closeness? 646 435 7280. Adrian in Glen rock, you're on WNYC. Hi, Adrian.

Adrian: Hi, Brian, long time listener. Thank you.

Brian: Glad you're on. What are you doing? How does it feel? Turn your radio off in the background. We're hearing the delay. Okay. Thank you.

Adrian: Can you hear me okay?

Brian: Yes, that's great. What are you doing?

Adrian: Yes. I am finally taking some time for myself and going swimming in the mornings for a bit. Kids are at school, and although I'm worried about not them being vaccinated, hopefully they're fine and they're wearing masks and they're safe, but finally I can go home, drop off, take a little break from work and go swimming.

Brian: How does that feel?

Adrian: Fantastic. Absolutely.

Brian: Adrian, thank you for starting us off. Elizabeth in Harlem, you're on WNYC. Hi, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: Hi. First time caller. Love your show. Thank you. I just wanted to share that it brings tears to my eyes. There's a lot of grief that I'm feeling. I feel like finally having quiet as you described it while incredibly peaceful and wonderful. I'm finally sitting with the grief of the last year, of what it was like to nurture and try to guide, in my case, two teenagers through such a difficult time, through their emotional struggles. I happened to meet a psychologist through my clients. It was so hard, but I just had to keep going because they were here. The pause really allowed me to feel the pain and the grief. It's not a huge party over here. It's more just feeling all the feelings.

Brian: That's so well put. I think that's exactly what a lot of people go through when somebody actually dies. There's so much to do in the first days or weeks after that, then finally there's a hush, the people go away from coming and paying those early visits, whatever horrible medical and paperwork things you have to deal with subside. Then you can actually let down and feel the grief. You're experiencing that with the empty house.

Elizabeth: Yes.

Brian: Elizabeth, thank you very much. I think you just gave a lot of people permission to feel something they maybe didn't even know they were feeling. Laura in Brooklyn, you're on WNYC. Hi, Laura.

Laura: Hi. I'm actually a grandparent and I'm sure there are many of us out there who took over the role of homeschooling for these little children whose parents were working. I have to say that right now, it's quiet in my house. I'm actually going to pick her up this afternoon from school. I am going through all of the many things that I purchased in order to homeschool this little girl. She was in first grade and I'm sorting through them and thinking, "What was a success? What wasn't a success?"

Yes, it's quiet, and yes, I agree with the other caller, there is a little bit of an empty feeling, but there's also a gratefulness for all the teachers and everything that they do. I cannot even imagine controlling a classroom of little ones when I had such a hard time with just one six-year-old.

Brian: There can't be enough gratitude for the teachers, that's for sure, throughout this whole period. What are you doing with the time?

Laura: Well, I'm sorting through all of her toys now and looking at the mess that my house has been and just trying to fix it up and make it normal again. That's what I'm doing.

Brian: Wow, digging out. Laura, thank you very much. What a grandma? Kristen in Glen Ridge, you're on WNYC. Hi, Kristen.

Kristen: Hi. How are you today?

Brian: Good. How are you today?

Kristen: Good. Thank you. I'm bucking all the trends and I actually took a job in a retail store, part-time, in a very nice clothing boutique. For the first time in about two years, I'm talking to other adults, I'm putting clothes on and makeup on and I'm talking to people and I'm feeling like a human being again now that I have the opportunity to not be on mother duty 24/7. I think it's the best thing I could have done for my mental health.

Brian: What's your setup, if I may ask, for if your kid gets sent home on one of those 10-day quarantines if there's an exposure in their class?

Kristen: I do have a ex-husband who lives locally so he can help, and being that it is a part-time job, I'm not carrying the weight of when I was in my career, of the failure of everything falling apart. This is the kind of job where I leave it there when I walk out the door. It will not be the end of the world if something like that does happen, which of course I'm hoping it won't, it's a pretty good area. We seem to have things under control, but anything can happen.

Brian: The upside of shift work. You can leave it in the store.

Kristen: Yes, absolutely. I think we need to get out and be around other people and it's just so good for us and you don't realize it until you do it.

Brian: Kristen, thank you so much for checking in. Amy in Roslyn, you're on WNYC. Hi, Amy.

Amy: Hi. How are you? [unintelligible 00:08:38] happy new year.

Brian: And to you.

Amy: Thank you. I actually gave birth in March of 2020, and my little guy is a year and a half old now, which is absolutely crazy to think about, but he is at school now. He just went for his first day last week. He's in a toddlers' playgroup. I'm spending my time worrying about him, hoping that he has a good day and actually getting some errands done.

Brian: Yes, it's first the errands, right, I guess, when your 18 month is out of the house for the first time. Wow. Really a pandemic baby. March of 2020?

Amy: Oh yes. My husband was almost not allowed to be there for delivery. I think literally if I gave birth the day before, he wouldn't be allowed to be there and then they made the change the night before, so he was allowed to be there for delivery, but then they kicked him out afterwards, which was crazy, but we were very, very thankful that he was there for delivery

Brian: What's your baby's actual birthday in March?

Amy: March 31st.

Brian: March 31st. Shutdown was going for two weeks already at that point. At least you had a little time to adjust before the arrival.

Amy: People didn't really understand what COVID was, how you got it, the nurses. I was all alone. The nurses wanted to take him away to give me some sleep. I'm like, "I don't know if I can give you my baby. How do you know if you have COVID? How do you know if the baby next to him has COVID?" Nobody really understood. She's like, "Yes, honestly, I don't blame you." Here we are a year and a half later.

Brian: Those nightmare days. Well, I'm glad you've come this far. Amy, thank you so much for your call. That's a good way to end, with a birth, this first call-in of the set of two quickies. Thanks to all you parents who called in to talk about what it's like now that you have no kid at home for the first time in a year and a half.

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