Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC and we'll wrap up today's show with a call in for this day after Mother's Day, on the best advice you ever got from your mom, or the best advice you as a mother think you ever gave. 212-433 WNYC 212-433-9692. If you're calling to talk to Emily that segments over, we ask you to clear the lines for the callers we're about to get. Thank you so much. It's a calling for this day after Mother's Day on the best advice you ever got from your mom, or the best advice that you as a mother think you ever gave. 212-433 WNYC 212-433-9692. Or you can Tweet that piece of advice that you as a mother gave or you as a child of a mother received @BrianLehrer.
After we're done with the flowers, the dinners, the chocolates, now we get to the advice that your mother gave you. That's one of the reasons you celebrated her. Or if you're a mother, a piece of advice that you gave that you think you deserve to have been celebrated for.
One of my producers told me the best advice she ever got from her mom was to always keep in touch with old friends. BuzzFeed compiled a list of the best advice folks got from their moms, they got this from a Reddit thread. Here's what they shared, "Happiness is just having something to look forward to. You don't regret money spent on travel. Look in the mirror and see if you see a friend in there. If you don't, take a longer look and get the friend back. No one is better than you. You are better than no one. Being gentle never goes out of fashion. This too shall pass." Though George Harrison gave that advice.
Would you give the same advice to others? 212-433 WNYC 433-9692. Maybe there's that voice echoing in the background for you as we go about our days. Soon we all pass that advice on to our children that we got from our moms, whether there are kids or not, there's kids around. If you're a grandparent, what advice did you pass on to your children about raising their children, on and on and on and on?
I'll give you a few more here. These are from the New York Times article. Some things that folks shared, "Never apologize for your kids behavior. Kids are made of rubber." These seem more dubious to me, "Take a drive, you never know what will come out. You want the best for your children but they don't really need it. Pick your battles never argue with a two year old." Anyway, the best advice that your mother ever gave you or that you think you as a mother ever gave your kids. 212-433 WNYC. We'll take your calls after this.
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Brian Lehrer on WNYC now to 10 minutes of your calls with the best advice, or just one good piece of advice your mom ever gave you or one good piece of advice you as a mom gave one of your offspring. Cheryl in SoHo, you're on WNYC Hi, Cheryl.
Cheryl: Hi. I think this is such a great idea. Real fast, my mom once told me that if I have a choice, try to find a guy who was raised with pets. A guy who was raised with pets will maybe understand what you're trying to say when you can't put it into words.
Brian Lehrer: Also if guys aren't raised, let's say boys compared to girls aren't raised to be caregivers in general, if that boy has a pet, probably doing something to take care of the pet. They get trained as a caregiver.
Cheryl: [laughs] Yes, yes, yes.
Brian Lehrer: That's my first reaction to that as a great one from your mom.
Cheryl: Thank you. She was a great mom.
Brian Lehrer: Cheryl, thank you very much. Adele in Hicksville, you're on WNYC. Hi, Adele.
Adele: Hello, Brian. Yes, a 66-year-old grandmother myself reflecting on my mother's advice to me, and I would pass it on, be careful about what you put into your brain and into yourself how you feed your head I guess. I think she meant specifically graphic violent imagery. Feed yourself with beauty and beautiful things if you can.
Brian Lehrer: Can you think of an example of maybe a movie or a television show or something like that, that you avoided based on that advice?
Adele: Oh, Brian, it's good advice. It's hard to keep things to date. Let me think. Most recently, I think there was a Batman movie that I absolutely steered clear of knowing it was just I thought gratuitously violent, chaotically violent, and I just didn't need to bring that into myself or into my home.
Brian Lehrer: Adele, thank you so much. Thank you for your call. Mary Gabrielle. Let's see, you say it for me. Is it Mary Gabrielle in White Plains?
Mary Gabrielle: Mary Gabrielle.
Brian Lehrer: Hi Mary Gabrielle, thanks for calling in.
Mary Gabrielle: Hi. This is my best advice to my daughter as a mother, how she should deal with her children. The advice is to ask, do you want my advice? Or do you want me to just listen? Usually, they just want a mom to listen. It saves a lot of breaths and frustration on both sides.
Brian Lehrer: They say that's a male female difference too. Have you ever heard this or experience it like when a woman is telling a woman friend or a woman spouse her problems, other women will tend to just listen, like you say. Men will tend to jump right in with advice. That's not always what the person wants.
Mary: That's exactly right. Men can often feel that they know best, not exclusively men but often they do. Listening quietly is often the best place to be.
Brian Lehrer: Mary Gabrielle, thank you very much for your call. Patricia in Manhattan. You're on WNYC. Hi, Patricia.
Patricia: Hi, Brian. I just wanted to say, when I got married, my mom said, "So you're married now and you'll be thinking for two." Meaning that sometimes men are still in that boyish bachelor stage where they don't think about grownup things. They just think, "Oh, I want to do this or that." She says, "You're going to have to be the one that's thinking for both of you."
Brian Lehrer: That sounds more like a warning than advice.
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Patricia: She was right.
Brian Lehrer: She was right. We'll see what your husband has to say about that. Patricia, thank you very much. Listeners, the calls are streaming and on the question post Mother's Day, what's the best piece of advice or a really good piece of advice your mother gave you? Or if you're the mom, what's a really good piece of advice you gave your kids? 212-433 WNYC. Steven in Riverdale, you're on WNYC Hi, there.
Steven: Hello, this is Steven. Are you calling me?
Brian Lehrer: I am calling you Steven. Hi.
Steven: Yes. I was an anxious kid. I grew up in the diplomatic corps around the world. I get very nervous about what to do next. My mom would always say, "One thing at a time, Steve. One thing at a time, Steve." I'm an Episcopal parish priest. There's always different things coming up in church and society. I get a little crazy and I think, "One thing at a time, Steve." It just helps me center down.
Brian Lehrer: Do you pass that advice on via your pulpit from your mom to your congregants?
Steven: That is a great thought. [laughs] It's more of the quiet voice inside my head. Maybe they need to hear it too. It might not be a bad idea.
Brian Lehrer: Great. Thank you, Steven. Thank you very much for your call. Victoria in Manhattan, you're on WNYC. Hi, Victoria.
Victoria: Hi. Thank you for taking my call. I think the best advice my mother gave me. I frequently think of it when I'm out dining is that, "Always know your server's name, show respect and leave the place setting proper. Don't leave your mess for someone else to clean up." I taught that to my son. By the way, there is another piece of advice that a mother-in-law gave a famous Supreme Court Justice Ruth Ginsburg on her wedding day, and she whispered in her ear and she said, "Sometimes it pays to be a little deaf," which Justice Ginsburg mentioned a few times in the last several years.
Brian Lehrer: I remember that. Good one to say.
Victoria: Yes, I thought that was great and I try to remember that fairly often and when I feel tempted to make a comment to my son, or I'm unhappy with something and I don't know. It pays to be a little deaf. [unintelligible 00:10:37] about treating the servers with the utmost respect.
Brian Lehrer: That's really good. That puts the children on the path to responsibility and to seeing everybody no matter what their status is as a human being and an equal human being. Thank you for that one.
Let's see, some ones coming in on Twitter. Best advice from my grandma, make him miss you. Dating love advice, married now 13 years, so I guess it works. Another one, my paternal grandmother's advice to her five children, go or send, never right." Another that's a little confusing me.
Another one, patience is its own reward. Another one, as a mom of 18 year old twins about to graduate from high school, I often tell weary parents of newborn multiples, nudging their stroller up a Park Hill that it gets better. They will sleep through the night, entertain each other and, sniff, sniff, it will pass in a blink. Megan in Stanford, you're on WNYC. Hi, Megan?
Megan: Hi there. My best advice that I got from my mother was, imagine you are in your 60s, 70s, 80s and you came back for this one day to be with your kids again, to live your life again, what would you do in that day? Gives you a lot more patience with your kids.
Brian Lehrer: Megan, thank you, very nice. Solidatto in Hempstead you're on WNYC. Hi Solidatto?
Solidatto: Hi, how are you? Thank you for having me.
Brian Lehrer: You got some advice from your mom, or are you the mom?
Solidatto: Yes. This is from my mom, Elizabeth [unintelligible 00:12:35] from Sierra Leone originally. There's one thing they used to always say in Sierra Leone and my mom used to say it to me as a child. [Krio language]. Basically it translated from the Krio language, and it translates to, [unintelligible 00:12:52] that you have to pick up, don't wait till mud or rainwater meet it.
When you have to do something, just get it done. Don't wait till it gets bad, don't wait till the workload becomes more, basically get it done. The reason that I migrated here so long ago, I say the same thing to my children.
Brian Lehrer: Get stuff done, good last words. Thank you all for your calls of advice from or to mom.
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