Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Now, to your calls on how much normally you're planning for this spring and summer including are you ready for a black tie-optional, negative COVID test, mandatory wedding? Micah in Brooklyn, you're on WNYC. Hi, Micah.

Micah: Hi, how are you?

Brian Lehrer: Good. You've got a plan?

Micah: Yes. We're basically planning two weddings simultaneously where, in June, we're planning either a full guest list affair, and we'll see what we get back. About March or April, we'll make a final decision about whether it seems to make sense if we can go through with it. Then the other version is just 20 to 25 of our very closest family like parents, siblings, and the like.

Brian Lehrer: For the largest scenario, did you have to put down money, and can you get it back?

Micah: We've already eaten some deposit. Originally, we were going to do not quite black tie-optional. It's going to be on a farm and we had to cancel dancing with a DJ at night. We've opted to do a brunch thing. 11:00 AM ceremony followed by a brunch. We've eaten the deposit there. Right now, we're working with our other vendors to see what we can do and be flexible about numbers. Fortunately, we haven't lost too much money.

Brian Lehrer: You've eaten something and you're planning two different kinds of weddings, it's so interesting for other people to hear. Just last question, are you aware of this Cuomo Declaration, which I don't have all the details of yet, I'm not sure that anybody does, but negative COVID test mandatory if you're going relatively big?

Micah: No. I honestly did not know about that, but if COVID is still a pretty serious and present danger in all of our lives, projecting from April into June, we're likely to just lean and opt into the much smaller version. The idea of asking everyone to show up with a vaccination card or a negative test, it's just not a logistical path we're interested in going down.

Brian Lehrer: Micah, thank you very much. Congratulations to you and your fiancé, and I hope it all goes well. Derrick in Harlem, you're on WNYC. Hi, Derrick.

Derrick: Hey, Brian. How are you doing?

Brian Lehrer: I'm doing all right.

Derrick: Me and my fiancé were planning on getting married in October in Orlando. We're going to have 150 guests. Back in the summer, the venue was ready to go on with it. I think we could have if we wanted to but I think we just decided that we just wanted to wait until we were able to have the full party and celebration we wanted to without having to worry about anything and postpone it indefinitely.

We just would rather not have to go through this worry of assembling all of our favorite people in the world and the risk of some of them getting very seriously ill. I think we're all also just ready for a big party once this is over with, so we're hopeful. We're not exactly sure when that will be, but ready for that day when we're all able to convene and celebrate together.

Brian Lehrer: That's a good way to look at it. It becomes a combination wedding party and end-of-pandemic celebration.

Derrick: Totally.

Brian Lehrer: Have you considered just getting married and then having the party at a future date when everyone's safe?

Derrick: Yes. Me and my fiancé, we do talk about that. We are in a situation where getting married is not going to have that big of an effect on our day-to-day lives. At this point in time, things can change. At this point in time, we're in the mindset of just waiting and doing it altogether.

Brian Lehrer: Derrick, thanks. Congratulations on even being engaged. Good luck with all of it. Isaac in the Bronx, you're on WNYC. Hi, Isaac.

Isaac: Hello, how are you doing?

Brian Lehrer: Good. How are you doing?

Isaac: Longtime listener, first-time caller.

Brian Lehrer: Glad you're on. You're planning a wedding I see.

Isaac: Yes, I am. Pretty similar to the two other callers, we are having a smaller gathering in Peekskill upstate. We're both aware of the Cuomo mandate that is coming, I guess, soon. That made me and my fiancé a little-- That took a little bit of pressure off us so that people weren't looking at us like, "Oh, you want us to take a test?" We can just say, "Hey, Cuomo wants you to take a test." [chuckles]

Brian Lehrer: Yes, you can hang it on the governor. Interesting, Isaac. Thank you, call us again. Congratulations whenever it happens. Here's a little more detail on what we don't know and do know from the Cuomo order. This comes from one of the most reliable news sources out there, brides.com. Brides.com ought to know on this one, right? The article published the other day says, "Last Friday, New York Governor, Andrew Cuomo made an announcement that had wedding vendors across the state popping bottles of champagne. He will allow weddings with up to 150 people provided that everyone on site has proof of a negative coronavirus test."

It says, "The news came as a surprise to many in the wedding industry in the New York State area. Until now, there have been few guidelines on live events, with weddings falling under a vague umbrella category of large gatherings." Now, this hooks it to the experiment that Cuomo tried at the Buffalo Bills football playoff game. It says, "Recent experiments with the Buffalo Bills football games. During two home games, he allowed thousands of live fans to enter the stadium and sit socially distant after receiving negative tests. They found virtually no link to coronavirus from attendees."

Yet, it remains vague because brides.com says-- I'm scrolling down here for the right sentence that I saw before, "Not everyone feels so ready to celebrate. Wedding planner, Sonal Shah, called the news exciting, but not realistic noting that it brought forth big questions. Event designer, Jove Meyer feels that it's just a starting point to come up with a detailed plan of how to execute events safely. The current guidelines," he says, "need more clarity."

I guess details to come about how you check, how you acquire, how you implement this negative COVID test required for your weddings in New York State. Starting in the middle of next month, you can do it in some way, and I guess those details will come. Lisa in Forest Hills, you're on WNYC. Hi, Lisa.

Lisa: Hi, Brian. Thank you so much for taking my call. I actually called and spoke with you almost a year ago about this exact topic. I remember I was asking your guest, I'm sorry, I forget who it was, if I should cancel my daughter's summer camp and not plan a summer vacation. The advice at that time was, "No, by that time, I'm sure we'll have it under control.

Brian Lehrer: Oh, how I wish.

Lisa: I had, last fall, signed my daughter up for summer camp this year with high hopes. The way everything's looking, I just don't think it's feasible, and just because these organizations are "allowing you to do things", I just don't think that means that everybody should assume it's safe. I've already gone ahead and canceled that because it just doesn't seem like it makes any sense that it's going to be something that she can do. I'm hoping--

Brian Lehrer: Whatever summer camp you're dealing with, do they allow you to make a deposit and then have it be refundable past a certain date, or how did that work in your case?

Lisa: Yes, they always had this policy actually. It's Frost Valley in the Catskills. Their policy is that as long as you cancel by March 31st, you get a 100% refund. I believe it's if you cancel by June 1st, you get a refund less your $250-per-session deposit.

Brian Lehrer: Those aren't terrible. Yes, I guess a lot of people are looking at those refund deadlines more than in the past. Lisa, thank you for sharing that. Robert in Bay Port, you're on WNYC. Hi, Robert.

Robert: Hey, how are you?

Brian Lehrer: Good. I hear you just had a wedding.

Robert: Yes, my wife and I, we had been planning a wedding last year and we couldn't do it because of corona and everything. We were going to just elope, have a civil ceremony. My mom said she had to be there so we made arrangements to have a small wedding. We had my mom, my wife's parents, her two best friends, and my best friend. The two best friends of my wife came down from Boston. They had been working from home and they had tested negative, and they got to the house and one of them got sick and he got a call from his brother. They had visited the mother-in-law Christmas Eve and she was positive and gave it to them and subsequently, we all got coronavirus, everybody, all seven of us.

Brian Lehrer: Oh, you got coronavirus at your wedding.

Robert: Yes, everybody did pretty well with it. We were all sick, but not horrible. My best friend ended up in the hospital for three weeks. Even the guy that was playing guitar in the living room away from the ceremony, he got it. It's just amazing. Everybody got sick.

Brian Lehrer: Wow, so is this a cautionary tale besides a tale of woe, that even with negative COVID tests, because of the lag time on how the disease sometimes progresses, you don't really know?

Robert: Absolutely. They came down, they were fine. Two days after Christmas, they woke up, I woke up early, they were up with headaches and I was like, what's going on? About two hours later, they got a phone call from the brother who hadn't been feeling well, everybody was good up until that point. We got sick three days later. We wouldn't have even known if they didn't, if they were asymptomatic, we would have been out, going to work, doing whatever, thinking everybody had tested negative, but it was good.

Brian Lehrer: Well, we end on a cautionary tale. Robert, you had a wedding you will never forget, that's for sure. Nobody forgets their wedding, but it sounds like everybody's doing okay now so at least you have that and hopefully, you'll all be able to laugh about it for years to come.

Robert: We're waiting for that.

Brian Lehrer: I hear you. Robert, thank you very much. Well, this segment on planning weddings and other things for summer 2021 ends on that cautionary tale. Thanks for calling everyone. Brian Lehrer on WNYC.

Copyright © 2020 New York Public Radio. All rights reserved. Visit our website terms of use at www.wnyc.org for further information.

New York Public Radio transcripts are created on a rush deadline, often by contractors. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of New York Public Radio’s programming is the audio record.