Title: What is Your Holiday Tipping Etiquette?

David Furst: It's The Brian Lehrer Show on WNYC. I'm David Furst, WNYC's Weekend Edition host, filling in for Brian. We are going to close the show today by asking for your thoughts and advice on something that can be hard to navigate this time of year; holiday tipping etiquette. The do's and don'ts of tipping are hardly straightforward, so let's pull back the veil on how to be generous while staying within our budgets. Because if you live in a building with a doorman or a super or other porters, those tips can add up, and even if not, there are teachers, nannies, crossing guards, sanitation workers, so what is the protocol?

Joining us now to help us figure it out is Brian Vines, Marketplace Equity Reporter at Consumer Reports, where he recently published a holiday tipping cheat sheet. Welcome to WNYC, Brian.

Brian Vines: Happy to be here. Thank you.

David Furst: Brian. I wanted to start by going over some of the most common questions people might have. Like if you live in a big building, who are you supposed to tip? There are supers, of course, but how does it work? What about the other workers?

Brian Vines: Well, there is a hierarchy when it comes to many of these big buildings that New Yorkers live in, but everyone who gives you service throughout the year will be there waiting for a tip at this time of the year. Really consider how you plan to engage those folks, whether it's the porters or the door folks or any of the attendants who make your life run a little easier throughout the year. If you have high contact with them, you're likely to have to tip them out very well this time of the year, people.

David Furst: How do you decide on the amount? This has been a tough year for a lot of people. How can you show your appreciation without breaking the bank?

Brian Vines: Well, one of the things that I've learned through the course of this reporting, there's really three pillars of tipping for all of us at this time of year. Number one, cash is king. Cookies are cute, gift cards are great, but people want you to show them the money. The second thing is that timing really matters. You don't want to give a holiday tip on the holiday. Now is prime time because people want that cash in hand to take care of their families and things that require cash.

David Furst: Oh, that's a really good point. Now is prime time.

Brian Vines: Yes, you don't want to give a Christmas, if you celebrate, tip on Christmas Day because then what are they going to do with it? They want to get their kids those toys or take care of all of the needs that you're taking care of at this time, time of the year. The other thing is, tipping is still discretionary. Especially if you live in one of these large buildings and you've got door folks and attendants, they kind of have an idea of how well you're doing this year, or if you're not doing very well at all. They see your comings and your goings and the pile of Amazon boxes outside of your door. The people who live intimately near you and provide those services have pretty much an idea about how well you doing this year. If you don't have it this year, don't stress. There are other things you can do.

David Furst: Yes, and does the amount, I guess, because I'm thinking about how many tips we may be considering giving in our lives, does the amount really matter or is it the thought that counts?

Brian Vines: Yes and yes.

David Furst: Okay.

Brian Vines: The amounts can matter, but there are several folks who I've talked to for weeks in different areas of service, and one sentiment was, if you can give me cash, that's great and I appreciate it, but if you can't this year, if you give a handwritten note that really, I know is for me, that talks about a time that I helped you out, that sentiment goes a very long way. Other folks said, I don't really need the cash in hand as much as I need you to come and keep using my services. I understand if you can't tip me big this haircut, but if you keep coming and you recommend me, that is worth more to me than the cash in hand right now. That being said, people still do appreciate getting money at the end of the year.

David Furst: Okay, we have a couple of text questions for you here. One of them, I think you may have already partially answered with that last answer, but if you can't afford to tip your doorman, what is a good alternative?

Brian Vines: Well, our etiquette experts who I spoke with did say that a handwritten letter goes a very long way. The thing about it is to be specific. Talk about an instance where they really helped you out and let them know the impact that it made. If you can't give cash, at least give that human connection, and it's sort of a promise that I've got you in the future because I recognize you right now, and as my fortunes improve, so will these tips.

David Furst: Okay, this sounds like it could be a bit of a tricky question, so get ready here. This person texting in to say, we always tip, but there's one doorman that they feel like they don't want to tip. Can they do that? Can they decide to not tip one of the doormen?

Brian Vines: Let me refer you back to rule number three. Tipping is completely discretionary, and it really is about saying thank you that one time a year for folks who you don't usually tip regularly. If you are tipping that door person every time they grab a taxi for you or make sure your box gets there securely, there's less pressure, but if you're just not feeling that guy, there's no reason that you should be tipping them at the end of the year.

One of the biggest drivers of tipping is the perception of need and really taking care of folks at the end of the year. If you do tip your manicurist all year long or the person that cuts your hair or walks your dog, if you're tipping them throughout the year, there's less pressure, but if there is someone in your life who is maybe a home care attendant or a housekeeper who there's not that sort of transactional tipping when they perform the service, this really is an opportunity to take care of them at the end of the year.

David Furst: Boy, I just have a few seconds left here. Let me try to get one last question to you here. What about some people that might get get overlooked in the end of the year tip pool? What about tipping the postal worker, one question, who delivers your mail?

Brian Vines: Well, the USPS does not allow letter carriers to accept cash or gift cards, but they can accept gifts that are $20 or less. So you can get a gift under 20. FedEx doesn't allow cash or any of those things, and UPS discourages cash as well. They don't want people driving around with wads of money on them.

David Furst: All right. Well, that's unfortunately where we're going to have to leave it for today. Brian Vines, Marketplace Equity Reporter at Consumer Reports. Thank you for joining us.

Brian Vines: My pleasure.

David Furst: I'm David Furst and this has been The Brian Lehrer Show here on WNYC. Thanks so much for joining us this afternoon. Have a great weekend. Brian is going to be back on Monday. Stay tuned for All Of It, that's coming up next.

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