Pets and Relationships

Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. We have a few minutes at the end of the show here for something on the lighter side that was inspired by something that came out of the movies and the Oscar season. Here it is. Tell us a story of how a pet affected your romantic relationship, your marriage or any other romantic relationship. Tell us a quick story, call right up, you'll get right on, of how a pet affected your relationship. 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692.

Why is this in the news? Well, as some of you know, Hamnet actress Jessie Buckley, a clip of her went viral after a resurfaced interview revealed that she gave her now-husband an ultimatum early in their relationship: get rid of his two cats or lose her. "It's me or the cats," she said in the clip. She won, by the way. Who has a Jessie Buckley-type pets in your relationship story to share? 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692.

Have you ever hated your new partner's pets or had a partner who hated yours? I'm allergic to cats. I never could have gotten involved with anybody who had a cat. Luckily, it never came up. Have you ever given or received a pet ultimatum of any kind? Who did you choose ultimately, the person or the pet? 212-433-WNYC, 433-9692. Maybe you use your pet as a screening tool for your dates, like if your cat hates the new guy, he's not getting that third date or whatever.

Tell us your pet affecting your relationship story building on the Jessie Buckley viral clip. 212-433-WNYC. Was it you or the cat? You or the dog? You or the bullfrog? 212-433-9692. We'll hear a few of those stories right after this.

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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Now to your calls about your pets and your relationships. I didn't even mention in the intro, at the point of divorce, who gets custody of Fido? Allison in Teaneck, you're on WNYC. Hi, Allison.

Allison: Hi. I guess I did a proactive ultimatum. I was dating for marriage back in 2005. On the dating website, my introductory paragraph, the last part of it was, "You must be able to tolerate cats," and I think it did push a couple of people. They tested me out, and I meant business. The person I ultimately married, I've been married to for almost 20 years. He's allergic to cats, but he knew what he was getting into because it was right there before he met me.

Brian Lehrer: You must have been very special to him, Allison. Thank you very much. Interesting. Kind of low bar, though. Don't contact me unless you can tolerate cats. Not love cats. Jennifer, in South Orange, you're on WNYC. Hi, Jennifer.

Jennifer: Hi. I have two dogs. I have a Goldendoodle who is a perfect dog, and he's a therapy dog in my office. Then my son convinced us that we needed a Pomeranian, and we got Bean about three years ago. He's the total boss of the family. Even though he is supposed to be my son's dog, he's really my dog, and he does not tolerate my husband very well. He sleeps right at my shoulder, and if my husband leans over to try to hug me or kiss me, he barks at him. The poor guy is just tortured by this Pomeranian. I adore him, and he's my little lap dog baby, so he's not going anywhere.

Brian Lehrer: Now that is a three-way relationship, that's for sure. Todd in Hamilton has another allergic-to-cat story. Todd, you're on WNYC. Hello.

Todd: Hi. Yes. My wife, when I first started dating with her, she was allergic to cats. I had a cat, Buddy, and she fell in love with the cat and her allergy, I guess, recessed or whatever. It went away. When Buddy passed away, we were going to get cats, and we didn't. Now she's back to being allergic to it. It was just a love affair with Buddy that recessed the allergic gene, I guess.

Brian Lehrer: Well, if we think our emotions can't affect our physical health, there's that. Jim in Crown Heights-- No, Marcel in Manhattan is next. You're on WNYC. Hi, Marcel.

Marcel: Hi. I was telling your representative, back in 1970, '71, I was riding my bike in Central Park. I took a break, sat down on the grass by the pond near the Delacorte Theater, and all of a sudden I'm accosted by this big, shaggy sheepdog that starts licking my face. I'm looking around, and then along comes this beautiful young woman. She's very, very apologetic. She says, "Oh, I'm terribly sorry. My dog is very friendly." I said, "What's his name?" She said, "Gabriel." I said, "Well, Gabriel must be an angel because he brought me to you."

Brian Lehrer: Oh, that's very sweet, Marcel. Yes, I know single people who've said, "One of the reasons I have a dog is it's a great conversation starter out there." One more. How about Pete in Harlem? Pete, you've got to do it in about 20 seconds. Can you?

Pete: Yes, I can, Brian. Good to meet you. Thank you. I met my ex-girlfriend a few years ago, four years ago maybe, and went back to her place after our first date. You know how things go. The dog pooped on my leg [laughter] in the middle of the night. It worked. We were together for quite some time, and to this day, we're very good friends. [laughs]

Brian Lehrer: It worked. I thought that was going to end the other way, but I see what you're saying. It worked. The dog marked his territory, [laughs] which was now her territory. You. All right. One more text. A listener writes, "My wife hates my fish tanks. Admittedly, there are too many. Fortunately, she never gave me an ultimatum." Thanks for your pets and your relationship stories. Stay tuned for Alison.

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