How Hot Is It?

Playground sprinklers can be very refreshing during heat waves.
( Courtney Davis / WNYC News )

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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC and for our last 10 minutes, we're going to change the mood. We're going to change the vibe, we're going to make it light. We're going to make it funny because the world is making it how hot. How hot is it is the question for our last few minutes today. It's so hot. The swimming pool is starting to boil. It's so hot the asphalt is melting and sticking to my shoes. It is shockingly hot. If you're in New York City, it is probably the hottest day of the year. Probably will be the hottest day of the year across the East and the Midwest right now.

So hot that we will end the show today by asking simply, how hot is it? You're invited to call up and finish the sentence. It's so hot that-- 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692 and they don't all have to be jokes, but this is a classic setup line for funny finishes and we're definitely inviting that, but it's so hot you can literally feel the heat radiating off the buildings in the city. It's so hot cockroaches are flying. That's an actual WNYC headline from eight years ago courtesy of Stephen Nessen, our transportation reporter.

He wrote for these cockroaches, the American cockroach, beneath the first set of wings which are used for protection is another pair which is used for flying. This hot muggy weather with heat indexes putting us into the 100s is the perfect condition for cockroaches to fly because, like us, they're just trying to stay cool. There you go. Listeners, how would you complete the sentence? 212-433-9692 . Seriously or comically? It's so hot that-- 212-433-9692. How hot is it? We'll take your calls and texts right after this.

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Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Going to your answers or your fill-in-the-blanks to the start of the sentence. How hot is it? It's so hot that-- and I forgot to say before the break, that if anybody can throw this in and we only have a few minutes for this whole thing, but another twist given what's going on out there today. How about how humid is it? It's so humid, I think the air is trying to drown me. It's so humid, I'm pretty sure my skin is trying to photosynthesize somebody wrote. Listener writes for how hot is it? It's so hot my easy pass fell down from the sticky things on the windshield. 212-433-WNYC. How hot is it? Jesse in Robinsville?

Jesse: As I was saying, it's so hot that I'm actually going to the office to work instead of working from home. My home office is on the second floor and it's getting way too hot up there, so 75 degrees in the office, that's nice.

Brian Lehrer: Jesse, thank you very much. So hot he's going to the office voluntarily. Marie in West New York, how hot is it?

Marie: The jalapeno peppers are keeping me cool inside.

Brian Lehrer: [laughs] Thank you. Tanya in South Amboy, how hot is it?

Tanya: It's so hot that when I got in my car yesterday, which registered 106 degrees, I realized my necklace was burning my neck.

Brian Lehrer: Ouch. Thank you. Grace in Rye, how hot is it?

Grace: It is so hot that when I swam out in the ocean, I had to give CPR to a shark that I thought was attacking me, but was in distress.

Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. Some coming in in text messages. It's so hot kids' outdoor summer athletics program is being moved indoors. We are doing dance class inside the air-conditioned school building instead, writes Grace in the South Bronx. That's a serious one. Listener writes, it's so hot Trump's hair picked up and flew away. Harvey in Midtown, you're on WNYC. How hot is it?

Harvey: Hi, Brian. It's so hot that after 9:00 AM I can't leave home or be out without a 16-ounce bottle of cold water.

Brian Lehrer: Thank you, Harvey. Good advice. Kate in Bayville, how hot is it?

Kate: It's so hot that my dogs that will bark at anything, wouldn't bark if a home intruder came in.

Brian Lehrer: Kate, thank you very much. Barbara in Bridgeport, you're on WNYC. How hot is it?

Barbara: It's so hot that the firefighters are running back into the burning building to cool down

Brian Lehrer: Wah, wah, wah. Listener texts, it's so hot and humid my hot yoga studio is cooler than the air outside. Mick in Park Slope, you're on WNYC. How hot is it?

Mick: Hey, Brian. It's so hot my AC needs an AC.

Brian Lehrer: Absolutely. That would only be fair. Cain in Oceanside, you're on WNYC. How hot is it?

Cain: It's so hot my mosquitoes are refusing blood donations.

Brian Lehrer: Wah, wah, wah. Larry also in Oceanside, you're on WNYC. Larry, how hot is it?

Larry: Hi, Brian. I will attribute this to the great sports announcer Red Barber who was born in Mississippi. He said it was so hot that he saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. Bob in Rigo Park, you're on WNYC. How hot is it? Bob's not there. Rita in Merrick, how hot is it?

Rita: It's so hot I just baked a lasagna in my mailbox.

Brian Lehrer: Thank you very much. Is that it? I think that's it. I think we've figured out how hot it is, a little bit of how humid it is. You people are amazing. We didn't give you any advance notice on that and you called right up and you called right in and you got right to your texts and you told everybody else how hot it really is. Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Stay tuned for Alison.

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