Finding Meaning and Community Without Religion

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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. For our last 10 minutes or so, we're going to open up the phones on the question, where do you find meaning, ritual, and the sense that you are part of something larger than yourself outside of a religious context? Where do you find meaning, ritual, and the sense that you are part of something larger than yourself outside of religious context? 212-433-WNYC, 212-433-9692. You can call, or you can text.

Why? Because if you've been listening, you know that we've done Passover and meaning conversations. We did an Easter and meaning one. We did Ramadan and meaning one when it was Ramadan just recently. When we were talking about Gen X and the slight trend of them going back to church, it was mostly in a Christian context on Friday. Joe in Rahway wrote in. He's a secular humanist, and here's part of his text, really, I'm paraphrasing, that many atheists and non-religious people have their own rich language for expressing love and wonder and shared humanity."

Joe, thank you for that text. We hear you, and it made us want to open up the phones in response. After all, the share of American adults who say they have no religious affiliation is about 28% of Americans, according to the Pew Research Center. It's a lot more than it used to be, and yet people don't stop needing some of the things that religion, canon, theory provide, right? Ritual, belonging, shared purpose, a reason to show up for each other.

We were just talking about baseball with Planet Money guests. Is it your sports league where you find community? Is it your knitting circle? Is it your community garden plot? Is it the mutual aid network that you participate in? Maybe you joined during COVID, and you never left. I know people, to give another example, who belong to a Jewish humanist group, Jewish humanists, which exists precisely to offer community to people who feel ethnically or culturally identified but don't believe in God.

Humanists in that context is another word for atheists. I don't know if they're explicit Christian humanist groups or Muslim humanist groups or any other religious identity groups that explicitly reject the idea of God. Otherwise, hey, let's get together. If anyone listening now does belong to any such group or know of one, we'd love to hear from you. Most unaffiliated people don't build their search for community specifically around rejection of God.

Most just find it in places that have nothing to do with religion. In response to Joe in Rahway or any other way, where do you find a community of meaning day-to-day, and also where for the big life events, weddings, funerals, your kids coming of age, anything else, if you're not part of a religious community? 212-433-WNYC. We'll take your calls after this.

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Brian Lehrer: Brian Lehrer on WNYC. Oh, we're getting so many calls and texts on your communities of meaning that have nothing to do with religion. One writes, "I foster kittens." Another one writes, "Old-time music, such great community and vibes at the jams." Another one writes, "12-step program." Another one writes, "Concerts, especially popular music concerts, where the crowd really loves the artist." David in Manhattan is calling as a militant atheist who wants to give us one of his. Hi, David, you're on WNYC.

David: Hi, Brian. I've called you before, usually on sillier things like bird calls. Just go on record to say, I personally see no virtue whatsoever in finding community through religions, which are all essentially a form of exclusive tribalism. They're not inclusive community.

Brian Lehrer: I don't want to make this a critique of that. I just want to hear your alternative. Where do you find it if you reject that?

David: I find it in anyone in multiple forms of music. I'm a classical musician. In political, my political views, in art, in family, in pet care. We're dog lovers and volunteer for rehoming dogs and so on, so that's me. You don't want to get into the generalities. You want to get into the specifics, but I just want to emphasize that a humanistic approach to community would view the entirety of humanity in a way as your community at one higher level, not some narrowly defined and often religiously denominated group, but at the lower level. All those other things I said, and the ones you said, are ways to find community. It's not like you need for family life marking events like weddings or birthdays or whatever that you need a religious ritual.

Brian Lehrer: Day-to-day. David, thank you very much. Oh, look, Joe in Rahway, whose text inspired this call-in, is calling back. Joe, you certainly earned your way onto the show for this. This is built around your text. Hi.

Joe: Hi, Brian. I was so surprised. I'm actually driving right now to meet my cousins for Cousins Day we're having. They're mostly religious, actually. Yes, I was so surprised. My reaction, that text reaction was to the shows from last week, where they were so religious. A lot of things I found in even some of those segments is how much they express humanist values, inclusiveness, things like that.

To answer the question of the day, and I told the screener, there's a number of organizations that I've been member of. I've actually led a few. I'm on the board of one now that is, really, a big organization in New Jersey called the New Jersey Humanist Network. It's meant there to bring non-religious people together for a number of things, including socializing as well as non-religious stuff. It's been around for many, many years, from, I think, around 2000 or thereabouts. I've been a member since 2011.

We get together monthly for in-person events, online events. We get together for dinner. There's also sometimes a specific thing that we call a program meeting, where we'll bring a speaker in, or we'll watch a movie or something like that. In fact, there's a holiday, which I think it's been mentioned on WNYC before, called HumanLight, which was begun in 2001. It's the winter holiday, and it's there for people who aren't religious to celebrate with each other. There's no deity connected or anything like that. Say that again. I'm sorry.

Brian Lehrer: See the passing of the seasons.

Joe: Yes, and it's an alternative to the winter solstice. We get together for a big dinner, big celebration. We celebrate life together, as it turns out. One of the big things that seems to be missing from the secular community is a place to go where you can gather. We've heard from so many people who were non-believers that they joined churches because they need the community for themselves and for their kids. We're trying to build that with these organizations. We haven't gotten there yet exactly, but we're trying to get there.

Brian Lehrer: Joe, thank you, thank you. Thank you for inspiring this. Very cool, and glad you were able to catch it by chance as you were driving this morning. Some things coming in on our text thread. "I volunteer at my kids' middle and high schools. Opportunity to be in community with the kids, the teachers, the principals." Another one wrote about finding community through their daughter's school.

Listener writes, "As a Vietnam veteran, I find community and purpose in veterans organizations." Another one, "In my experience, artists are very good at building community around ritual." Another one relates to that, "I take guitar classes. Practicing guitar and attending classes is like attending church or religion." Let's get Rita in Morristown in here as one last one. Hi, Rita. We've got about 20 seconds for you. How are you doing?

Rita: Okay. Oh, hi. Hi. You're my favorite person, by the way.

Brian Lehrer: Oh.

Rita: [chuckles] Yes. No, I just wanted to say that I belong to what we call a religious organization, but I'm an atheist. I was an agnostic, and there are many atheists in our group. There's a representative from every religion. I belong on the fun committee, and it's the Unitarian Universalists. Everyone is welcome. To question is the answer in my--

Brian Lehrer: "To question is the answer," the last words on the show today. Well, maybe we'll do one soon, specifically on why you're an atheist or an agnostic or believe in God, and we'll get down to it with that. Anyway, thanks for your calls today. Stay tuned for All Of It.

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