Title: Love, Dating, and Valentine's Day in New York City

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Janae Pierre: Welcome to WNYC Now. I'm Janae Pierre. Finding love in New York City can be difficult for some, but why? On today's episode, we chat with a dating coach to discuss just that, but first, here's what's happening around the city. New York City continues to experience historic cold temperatures. Officials are urging people to stay inside as much as possible this weekend as more arctic air comes our way.

Forecasters are saying low temperatures will be in the single digits at times, making it potentially unsafe to be outdoors. The cold weather isn't helping the nearly two-week-old snow go away any faster, either. Here's Mayor Zohran Mamdani.

Zohran Mamdani: What we are looking at is some of the coldest weather we've seen in recorded history in New York City, and where typically snowfall would be followed by an increase in temperatures, and the assistance of the sun in melting that snow, what we've instead seen is a cold front, the likes of which we have not seen in many years.

Janae Pierre: Mayor Mamdani has been criticized for his policy of no longer sweeping homeless encampments after over 15 people were found dead outdoors during the recent period of extreme cold. Most of them reportedly died from hypothermia. Mamdani is continuing the Adams' policy of involuntary removal of people unable to care for themselves. The Mayor says he's focused on getting people off the streets by working with outreach groups to reach out directly to homeless New Yorkers to bring them inside.

Zohran Mamdani: For many homeless New Yorkers, their prior experiences with the shelter system are also what color their decision-making of whether or not they should be inside or outside. We don't want to go to them and say, "There's only one option you have. Take it or leave it." Our goal is to go to these homeless New Yorkers and say, "Here are the many different ways that you could come indoors, be warm, be safe," and ensure that we are actually meeting that moment and meeting their needs.

Janae Pierre: The concrete jungle will feel like an arctic tundra this weekend. The Mayor is asking New Yorkers to keep an eye on their neighbors and call 311 if they see anyone outside who looks as if they need help. Though it's cold outside, I hope your heart isn't. We all know how difficult it can be to date in New York City. We'll get into why, plus the dos and don'ts of dating. That's after a quick break.

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Janae Pierre: New Yorkers, we work hard, play harder, and guess what? We look good, too. Yet there is so much discourse about dating in this city. Now, some people will tell you New York is the best place in the world to date. Now, others will say it's the absolute worst. Everyone, I mean everyone, is trying to figure it out. Dating in New York City is not for the faint of heart. Surviving and thriving here is already expensive.

Whew, I had to take a break because it is expensive, and dating can feel like a full-time job sometimes, with no benefits for many of you. Ugh, that sucks. Ahead of Valentine's Day, I wanted to talk to a professional, a dating expert, someone who actually understands what's happening in the dating world and can tell me why so many people are sleeping alone in the city that never sleeps.

Erika Ettin is a New York City-based dating coach who's turned all this chaos into a hustle. She's the founder of A Little Nudge. That's an online dating service. We're going to talk to her about what makes dating in New York different from anywhere else, how business is going for a dating coach in this city, and yes, we'll get into the dos and don'ts and all the other dating rules that you may or may not be breaking. Erika, welcome to the show.

Erika Ettin: Thank you so much for having me. Love that intro.

Janae Pierre: Let's get to the big question here. Why is dating in New York City so difficult?

Erika Ettin: I think dating these days is difficult.

Janae Pierre: Period, no matter where you are. Okay.

Erika Ettin: Period. Exactly. Regardless of where you live. I will say, and I don't want to negate what you're saying, because dating in New York is hard. I will say certain things do make dating in New York unique. Whether that makes it more difficult or not is up to the person, but you have the geography. In other cities, it's different, but here, say, for example, you live in Brooklyn, someone's in New Jersey, they don't want to come to you, and vice versa. That could make it difficult.

I do think because there are so many people in New York, just the sheer absolute number of people, it does sometimes make people feel like they're expendable or they're commodities when in reality there's a whole person behind you. That does make any big city, but particularly New York, difficult to date.

Janae Pierre: We're talking about the difficulties of dating in New York City, and the distance can be a real burden, but people in Houston, Texas, have to deal with the same thing and maybe even go even further, right? Can we talk about the role the borough hop plays in all of this?

Erika Ettin: Yes, that does definitely make New York unique. People definitely have a mental barrier about crossing boroughs. Why? Is it a river that's the problem? Is it money? I can't answer that. That's an individual question, but I do see this all the time because I have clients share their phone screens with me over Zoom. I'm watching them look at profiles and select people.

Often, I'll see them look at where that person is located. If it is not close enough, in their opinion, to where they live, it's an automatic no. I do my best to say, if this person seems really good on all fronts, it's worth perhaps crossing that river. That is a huge mental barrier for people. I don't know what it is with rivers.

Janae Pierre: I've known rivers. I don't know.

Erika Ettin: Right. I think in other cities, you don't think about it as much because you're in your car.

Janae Pierre: Right.

Erika Ettin: People are in their cars all the time, but here you have to take a subway or something, or a bus, or whatever to get to another place, and that just seems like a big hurdle for people.

Janae Pierre: Yes. Don't talk about if it's the weekend and it's after 11:00 PM, and I need to get back to Brooklyn, but I'm coming from the Bronx.

Erika Ettin: I get it. Now, I will say for women who date men, most do want the date, the first date, anyway, to be closer to them, so they're more on their home turf to make sure they feel comfortable and to make sure that someone is willing to take into account their comfort and safety. When it's a woman who is swiping, and she says, "Well, I'm in Brooklyn. He lives in New Jersey or the Bronx," or whatever, and I say to her, "Well, why don't we see where he suggests for a first date?"

Because you learn so much about people from where they suggest. If he suggests something in his backyard, obviously, you're not going to meet him anyway, but I say, if he's willing to come closer to you for that first date, does the location matter? That sometimes gets through to people.

Janae Pierre: For some of the clients that you may have here in New York City who have success stories and now they have their boo, things are going well, they're a year in or so, and maybe one lives in Harlem and the other lives in Brooklyn, and now they're considering moving in together. Is that too soon, or is that the New York way?

Erika Ettin: Oh, that's so unique to every couple. I could never say what time period. Here's what I will say, though: don't move in just to save on rent. It should not be a logistical decision. I see way too many couples say, "Well, their lease is up." No, no, no. I think you should be together for at least four seasons, so a year is good. You got to see what people are like when they're cold, when they're hot, when they're hungry, when they're hangry. You have to see people in all situations before you decide, but a year, depending on your age, too, and how much experience you have, a year seems pretty reasonable to me.

Janae Pierre: Let's talk about dating a New Yorker. A lot of transplants here, but let's say this transplant, who has now been here a few years, is really feeling this New Yorker boo that they have, but you don't know if you're going to be here your whole life because people just don't think that way. For real, for real.

Erika Ettin: That is true. We can't know everything, period. We just can't. So many people, particularly in New York, are trying to discern things prematurely. People ask these questions on first dates. "Where do you see yourself in five years? Do you see yourself staying in New York?"

Janae Pierre: I hate that question, too.

Erika Ettin: Everybody hates that question because it feels like an interview question that you can't pass. There's no right answer. I would say, as it relates to whether someone is a city person or wants to stay in the city, obviously, if you plan on moving, you should disclose that to somebody because that's relevant information for them to know to decide if they want to stay with you, but so many things could happen in life.

Trying to plan out the entire rest of your story does you a disservice, because we just don't know. Hopefully, if you're in the right relationship and someone has a job that moves them out of the city or something else, you can work together to figure out the right choice for you. People are so quick to look for reasons to dismiss somebody. "Oh, they're going to move in five years. Oh, they this. Oh, they that. Oh, they're not exactly on the timeline I have planned for my life when I was five." Let people win. Look for reasons to include them, not exclude them.

Janae Pierre: Yes. We talked about New York City being a burden and it being so difficult to date here, [crosstalk] but sometimes dating in New York City can be really great, right?

Erika Ettin: There are a lot of people. Yes, there are a lot of people. There's that expression, wherever you go, there you are. If you're struggling with something, even if you weren't in New York, I do believe some things are internal, and then yes, of course, some things are external. I think it's easy in that there are always interesting and interested people around, but that same exact thing makes it harder because of the paradox of choice. With more choice, are people as happy in the choices they're making? They find a 9, they want a 10, whatever that means to them. That does make it difficult.

Janae Pierre: It seems like a lot of people are only sticking to online dating these days. Do you hear from your clients, are they meeting people out in the wild? Do you have advice for them to do that as well?

Erika Ettin: I sure do, yes. I don't think you should rely on any one tool. Online dating is a tool, so is going out to meet people in person. I always tell my clients, "I want you to do online dating, yes, but I also want you to go to three in-person events per month." I try to keep a goal that's reasonable, not too lofty. One of those three things has to be a dating thing, like a speed dating or a singles mixer.

The other two could be anything you want that you're going to enjoy yourself anyway, and if you talk to other people, it's a bonus. If you like trivia, go to a trivia night. If you like whiskey, as we were talking about earlier, you go to a whiskey tasting.

Janae Pierre: That's right.

Erika Ettin: You go to a cheese tasting. Whatever makes you happy anyway, you're going to be more yourself when you're in your element, and then if you meet someone, it's even better.

Janae Pierre: Yes. We see a rise in New York City and run clubs, and all these other clubs. What is your advice to your clients with all of that?

Erika Ettin: Yes, join things. That's part of the three events per month I recommend. One should be dating-related. When I say dating-related, there are speed dating companies here. There are meetups, there are companies. Can I drop names?

Janae Pierre: Yes.

Erika Ettin: I get nothing from this other than the sheer satisfaction of-

Janae Pierre: Well, maybe we will.

Erika Ettin: -sending people out there. CitySwoon is a speed dating company that I like. MyCheekyDate, it's a silly name, but I think it's British, I don't know, is a speed dating company I like. There's one called Shaka Club that has age-based happy hours. There's one called Jigsaw Dating. There are so many companies, if you look. Now in terms of other things that you might think are fun, find a thing you like to do.

If you hate running, don't go to a run club, obviously, but if you're thinking about running, yes, go to a run club. If you like comedy, go to a comedy show. Sites I use to find events. Eventbrite is a great site. There's an app called Luma. It's basically an aggregator of events. You can find things. There's one called Pulsd, P-U-L-S-D. There's one called Bucket Listers. These are all aggregators of events, but they are events where people who have similar interests to you congregate. Whatever that is to you, whether it's a run club, which, yes, I see runners all the-- I hate running.

Janae Pierre: Same.

Erika Ettin: They're all over my neighborhood, and I keep getting these emails, and I'm like, "It is not going to happen." Gyms, too. Go to your gym. Join a weightlifting club. Just something that is your interest, but yes, New York is great for that because you can find a run club in every neighborhood.

Janae Pierre: Yes, you really can. [laughter] That's an easy way to make friends. You just got to get up and run.

Erika Ettin: Well, easier said than done.

Janae Pierre: All right, so let's get into some of the dos and don'ts of dating. You want to start a list there?

Erika Ettin: Oh, just start a list?

Janae Pierre: Come on. We know it's long. We'll be here for days.

Erika Ettin: Okay, I'm going to give more abstract and then more concrete.

Janae Pierre: Okay.

Erika Ettin: Does that sound okay?

Janae Pierre: Yes.

Erika Ettin: Abstract is first believing that there are good people out there. So many people I know say, "Well, there's no one good." Then you're sort of, everyone you meet is proving you right in a way. That's too much work for everyone. First is believing that there are good people out there, and you will find them. Second is accepting that dating does take work. I think you and I both know many people who think their perfect person is just going to knock, knock, knock on their door, be like, "I'm your husband, I'm here."

No, that's not how it works. I think some people begrudgingly do the work and think, "I'm better than this." Nobody is better. It's just like a job search, right? You have to put together your resumes. You have to send them out. Some won't like you. You won't like some, but if the first five don't work, you don't say, "Well, I guess working's not for me." We persevere. Do create manageable goals.

I was saying this earlier. I have all of my clients log into their dating apps for 15 minutes in the morning and 15 minutes in the evening. That way, you can't get addicted to it. You can't be swiping all day, every day, but it's enough that you can be productive, but then you put it away.

Janae Pierre: Okay.

Erika Ettin: The three events per month, if you're on Hinge is very popular right now. Most of my clients are on Hinge. In the free version of Hinge, you're allowed to write to eight people for free every single day, to the extent that you find eight people you like, which I know on some days might be harder than others, but try to write to every single person you're allowed. Don't just click Like; send an actual message.

Find something in their profile that maybe speaks to you or resonates with you. Make a statement about it, and then ask a question. I don't know why cheese is on my mind. Maybe I'm hungry, but something like, "Oh my gosh, I noticed that cheese plate in front of you. Are you pro or con blue cheese?" That's a good--

Janae Pierre: Con.

Erika Ettin: Oh, I love blue cheese. Fine. Fine. I'm not saying you have to talk about cheese, but you understand what I mean. Don't have negativity in your profile. You see a lot of profiles, "Don't want this, don't want that, don't want that." That's negative. Even if the person fits all of your criteria, they don't want to deal with your negativity. Meet someone relatively quickly.

Janae Pierre: Don't linger with the messages.

Erika Ettin: Exactly. No pen pals. I always give the advice, "Try to have a date set up within a week of matching with someone." I'm not saying you have to meet them within that week, but at least be talking about meeting, setting up a date within that week, or else you lose all momentum, and it's not going to happen. Yes, don't have pen pals. This is a controversial don't, not that controversial, but I recommend arranging the entire date within the dating app before exchanging numbers.

I only recommend exchanging numbers for contingencies. Here's why. The minute someone says, "Oh my God, it's so much easier to text," and then you start texting, and then there's no urgency anymore to set up a date, you're getting the good morning text. "Good night. What did you eat today?" I don't even tell my Friends what I ate tonight. You know what I mean? It's like it builds this false sense of intimacy before you've gotten to know someone. I want you to know that this person can lock down a plan before you're exchanging numbers.

Janae Pierre: Valentine's Day is coming up. What advice are you giving to your clients these days?

Erika Ettin: The same advice I always do, but if you're going on a first date on Valentine's Day, it does not mean more than a regular first date. It's just a day. I think it is a Saturday, for what it's worth.

Janae Pierre: It is, yes.

Erika Ettin: It's just a day. It's still a first date, and it doesn't have to mean something. Also, if you're newly seeing something and it's Valentine's Day, you don't have to amplify the seriousness of the relationship simply because an arbitrary date has come up. Just treat it as any other day. Last thing, if you're going out with someone you've been out with maybe a few times, and Valentine's Day is coming up, to protect yourself from disappointment, because a lot of people will say, "Oh, they didn't get me anything," I want you to have the conversation in advance of Valentine's Day. How do you feel about Valentine's Day? Would you like to exchange something small? You're never going to be upset for getting clarification if ultimately you get what you want from that conversation.

Janae Pierre: Love that. Don't succumb to the pressure.

Erika Ettin: Yes, absolutely. It's a Hallmark holiday.

Janae Pierre: Yes, all Hallmark. Erika Ettin, thanks so much for joining me. Happy Valentine's Day to you.

Erika Ettin: You too.

Janae Pierre: All right, if you do have a little boo and you need some Valentine's Day plans, we got you. Stay close.

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Janae Pierre: Just imagine, right? You're with the person of your dreams. You don't have to tell me who that is. Money's not a thing, right? Just like the song Money Ain't a Thing. What would you do for Valentine's Day?

Hannah Frishberg: The fish market event is pretty wild.

Janae Pierre: Hannah, please stop. Please stop. You want to go to the Fulton Fish Market?

Hannah Frishberg: What am I going to go to Daniel and drop $1,000 for a 10-course meal that takes 5 hours? I guess if someone else is paying, but I don't know.

Janae Pierre: With the person of your dreams, you want to go to a fish market?

Hannah Frishberg: Have you been? It's so weird.

Janae Pierre: Okay, yes. I haven't been so.

Hannah Frishberg: Okay. My proclivities are perhaps not average or relatable, but that is my honest answer.

Janae Pierre: Okay.

Hannah Frishberg: Well, where would you go? All the money in the world.

Janae Pierre: All the money in the world, with my boo. I'm somewhere on a yacht in Turks and Caicos. Unlimited crab legs and the blue butter from STK.

Hannah Frishberg: To each their own. You have your yacht. I have my wholesale fish market in the Bronx.

Janae Pierre: Yes, I'm feeling the love in the air right now. That's because Valentine's Day is a week away. This year is extra special, I believe, because it lands on a Saturday. If a romantic dinner is not your style, there's plenty of daylight activities to enjoy with a lover, with a friend, a loved one, or by yourself, because it's always good to celebrate me, myself, and I. Joining me in studio, WNYC's arts and culture reporter, Hannah Frishberg, has been collecting a healthy list of things to do on Saturday. Hannah's here in studio with me to talk about what New York has to offer. What's up, Hannah?

Hannah Frishberg: Hey, thanks for having me.

Janae Pierre: All right. Fulton Fish Market. What's popping off?

Hannah Frishberg: It's going to be weird. It's really far in the Bronx, but an adventure to get there, taking the 6 into eternity, and then they're going to have a feast of seafood in a 400,000 square foot refrigerator. That is what the Fulton Fish Market is, functionally: a 400,000 square foot refrigerator.

Janae Pierre: That's really appealing to me, now that I think about it. I am a pescatarian, so just being able to go out, look at some fresh fish, and say, "Hey, grill that up for me," is that something I can do there?

Hannah Frishberg: Yes. This is like the best fish in the city. The restaurants that you're saying you would rather go to on Valentine's Day, they're probably sourcing their fish from the Fulton Fish Market. You're just kind of cutting out the middleman of the restaurant and going straight there. Yes.

Janae Pierre: Going straight to the source?

Hannah Frishberg: Yes, going straight to the fisherman. From their hook to your mouth. Hook to table, as no one says.

Janae Pierre: Oh, I love hook to table.

Hannah Frishberg: Yes, now a classic saying.

Janae Pierre: Definitely. Have you been to this fish market?

Hannah Frishberg: Yes. They started doing this event series last year, and I went to their first event there, which is like a VIP press preview kickoff for this event series, and it was a blast.

Janae Pierre: Tell me more about these hot tubs.

Hannah Frishberg: The hot tubs were not at the last event.

Janae Pierre: Uh-oh.

Hannah Frishberg: They are necessary because it is cold in there, because the fish are the priority. The parties are a new thing. These are human hot tubs. I believe they have 12 of them for this event.

Janae Pierre: 12 hot tubs. Do you have to pay extra if you want to be in the hot tub?

Hannah Frishberg: Yes, it's like $1,000, I think, but I think they're still selling tickets, so there might be some discounts available.

Janae Pierre: Yes, $1,000 to go into a hot tub with a stranger.

Hannah Frishberg: It might be private. I feel like they're private hot tubs.

Janae Pierre: I hope they're private. [crosstalk] I hope they're private. Okay, $1,000 to be in a hot tub. I think I change my response. I think I want to go to the Fulton Fish Market for Valentine's Day.

Hannah Frishberg: It's going to be great. It's going to be weird.

Janae Pierre: Yes, great, weird sounds good. If people are into the classically romantic way to celebrate Valentine's Day, which traditionally is just like hitting a nice, expensive restaurant, what would you recommend?

Hannah Frishberg: Oh, man, so many nice, expensive restaurants have emailed me, and none of them stuck out. I like sushi, personally. Dinner in New York is always good. It's like brunch, they just charge you extra on the holidays if we're being honest.

Janae Pierre: Yes, that is true.

Hannah Frishberg: Just a good day to get ripped off. Go on Sunday, not Saturday. That's my tip for Valentine's Day dinner.

Janae Pierre: Bring in Valentine's Day. Maybe a Friday night. Maybe a Sunday brunch.

Hannah Frishberg: Yes, real love is cooking for each other. Cook for someone.

Janae Pierre: Wow, real love. I'm talking about some Real Love. That's for you, Mary J. Okay, but seriously, I know you said no restaurant popped out at you, but where should folks go? What do you recommend? If I want that romantic movie type vibe.

Hannah Frishberg: Well, the Empire State Building is screening Sleepless in Seattle.

Janae Pierre: That is romantic.

Hannah Frishberg: Right? It's kind of meta because the Empire State Building is in that film as well. Yes, that should be fun, and they're also going to give the observatory tour for guests. You get to watch the movie, and then you get to see some real-time, amazing views.

Janae Pierre: Is dinner included in this thing?

Hannah Frishberg: They've got some snacks.

Janae Pierre: Snacks. I'll have to sneak in my snacks.

Hannah Frishberg: Oh.

Janae Pierre: I'm the type.

Hannah Frishberg: It's Empire State. They're going to have security. They're going to find your Fritos when they pat you down, and you're going to be in big trouble.

Janae Pierre: No, they'll be looking for hard drugs.

Hannah Frishberg: Oh, yes.

Janae Pierre: If I want to take someone to the Empire State Building, how much is that going to cost me?

Hannah Frishberg: It's going to be $135 per person-

Janae Pierre: Whoa.

Hannah Frishberg: -which is about what you'd probably be spending on that overpriced dinner.

Janae Pierre: That's true, that's true.

Hannah Frishberg: Although, actually, $135 these days is not that bad for dinner. It's nice.

Janae Pierre: My friends and I say that $100 is the new $20.

Hannah Frishberg: Oh, yes, and $20 is just the leaving the house tax.

Janae Pierre: Yes, for sure.

Hannah Frishberg: In New York, you leave the house, you're going to spend $20.

Janae Pierre: Yes. All right, so for folks who want to get grooving, want a night out on the town, any suggestions?

Hannah Frishberg: The Roots are playing Brooklyn Bowl.

Janae Pierre: Oh, yes.

Hannah Frishberg: Yes, Questlove is going to be djing before and after.

Janae Pierre: Nice.

Hannah Frishberg: Oh, and then Xanadu, a roller rink in Bushwick, is having drag wrestling and skating.

Janae Pierre: Nice.

Hannah Frishberg: That should be a good time.

Janae Pierre: Love Xanadu. The last time I was there, actually, I saw a guy break his wrist right in my face.

Hannah Frishberg: No, he went down hard.

Janae Pierre: He went down hard and went around for another round and came back, and I saw a bone popped on out.

Hannah Frishberg: Well, he was a trooper to do one more round, got back on the horse.

Janae Pierre: Yes, he thought he was okay.

Hannah Frishberg: Oh, he didn't realize how bad it was.

Janae Pierre: He didn't.

Hannah Frishberg: Oops.

Janae Pierre: All right, for those who don't want to leave their actual home, what are some ideas for them?

Hannah Frishberg: Well, East Village Pizza has a heart-shaped pizza that'll run you $30. You can celebrate the holiday and not even leave your couch.

Janae Pierre: Hmm. How many toppings?

Hannah Frishberg: I think they've got four different styles of it.

Janae Pierre: Okay, okay, I'm about to say, because like just a one-topping, $30 pizza, it seems unfair.

Hannah Frishberg: Well, it's a heart.

Janae Pierre: Yes, but that's just a dough-shaping thing, not science.

Hannah Frishberg: They got plain, white, pepperoni, and margherita.

Janae Pierre: I love margherita pizza.

Hannah Frishberg: What's your fave?

Janae Pierre: Probably just plain.

Hannah Frishberg: Pepperoni if I'm hungry.

Janae Pierre: All right, so a plain old cheese pizza, but if you're hungry or if you feel like celebrating yourself, pepperoni.

Hannah Frishberg: Sure.

Janae Pierre: Okay. We're talking a lot about Valentine's Day for the lovers, Valentine's Day for folks who love themselves, and Valentine's Day for those who want to spend some time with some loved ones, but I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the Valentine's Day haters. Let's segue and talk about the haters who walk among us.

Hannah Frishberg: They are here, they are present. Speaking of presents, they're giving out presents.

Janae Pierre: Roaches named after someone. What is this, Hannah?

Hannah Frishberg: The Bronx Zoo has been doing this for a minute. It's pretty funny. It's like $15. Yes, you can name a Madagascar hissing cockroach after whoever you want. Some people take it as a compliment. Some people are amused by it, or if you're feeling vengeful, I guess you can name it after someone who really hates roaches, has a particularly bad infestation right now, really rub it in.

Janae Pierre: [laughs] Would you take it as a compliment?

Hannah Frishberg: No. They're disgusting. I hate water bugs. They'll inherit the earth, but I really don't like it when they put themselves in front of me.

Janae Pierre: Yes, but if you had an ex that you wanted to give a roach to, what would you name that roach?

Hannah Frishberg: No, I'm not vengeful like that.

Janae Pierre: Oh, you're not?

Hannah Frishberg: Nah, stop, stop. I don't want to look at them. I had a hard time pulling up the website and seeing the roaches on the homepage just to research this.

Janae Pierre: Oh, you don't want to see the roach or your ex?

Hannah Frishberg: Man, they're so gross. No, the roaches.

Janae Pierre: Oh, okay. All right. That's WNYC's Hannah Frishberg, not the roach. Thanks so much for joining us.

Hannah Frishberg: Thanks for having me and not naming a roach after me.

Janae Pierre: Of course, I'd never do something like that.

Hannah Frishberg: I trust you.

Janae Pierre: Yep. What has your dating experience been like in New York City? Let us know. Send an email or a voice note to nycnownyc.org. We might use your comment in a future episode. Thanks again for listening to NYC Now. I'm Janae Pierre, sending you much love this weekend. Stay warm. See you next time.

[MUSIC]

Hannah Frishberg: I haven't been on the apps in so long.

Janae Pierre: Oh, this is great.

Hannah Frishberg: I got blacklisted from Tinder about five years ago, actually.

Janae Pierre: Tell me more.

Hannah Frishberg: I was using it to source a story, and they fairly blacklisted me.

Janae Pierre: What was the story about?

Hannah Frishberg: It was about Democrats and Republicans who were vengefully sleeping across the aisle. I did source it through Tinder.

Janae Pierre: Wow.

Hannah Frishberg: I also, then, was blacklisted from Tinder, and then I complained, and they reinstated my account. I kind of regretted having complained because it was kind of a funny gold star, just--

Janae Pierre: Yes, that's pretty cool. You got some cool points from me.

Hannah Frishberg: Thank you.

Janae Pierre: Not that you need it anymore.

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