Lulu Miller: Hey there. Have you ever felt a little [A pause, for drama.] bored?
A little stuck on this lumpy old planet of ours?
(Gently bubbling up out of nothingness, a synthesizer begins to play. Each note lifts up like a hot air balloon, slowly rising and falling as it moves towards the clouds.)
Miller: Well, got a little something for you. All I need you to do is close your eyes and:
AJ: Imagine …
Sy: Imagine …
Nataanii: Imagine …
Wanda: Let's imagine that you’re, um …
Sy: You are a liquid creature.
(Bubbles rush around you, flying towards the surface of imaginary waters.)
Sammy: You’ve got these two big red eyes.
Nataanii: Your skin turned to feathers.
(Birds flap their wings all around you. They soar up to the clouds.)
Sy: And you have blue blood. And you have three hearts.
(Dah-dun, dah-dun, dah-dun: the sound of a person pretending to be a heart.)
Nataanii: And you’re higher than the airplanes.
Sy: And you are so—
Wanda: —Powerful, moving at the speed of light!
(Lasers echo—pew pew!—almost bouncy, just like teeny-tiny tennis balls.)
Sy: You can literally pour your body through a tiny opening.
AJ: And, instantly, you feel weightless.
(A human voice blows out “Whew!” like a rush of air.)
(The balloon music goes quiet.)
Sammy: And that’s where things get freaky.
(Bubblegum-bright notes pop over a steady drumbeat.)
Miller: From WNYC Studios and Radiolab comes a brand new show for kids—and adults—all about the strangeness right here on earth.
Sy: She was beginning to turn white right where my fingers were.
Miller: Real creatures.
Sammy: Oh, yeah. Mhm.
Miller: Real encounters.
Ed: They were just going, “How did you do that?”
Miller: And occasional … Uh …
(The music winds down suddenly.)
Miller: Songs!
Wanda: Sí, cómo es la … How is the song?
(The theme song comes in over the candy-sweet music—“Terrestrials, terrestrials! We are not the worst, we are the …”—before every sound pauses, waiting for us to finish the next line.)
Wanda: And what do I say?
Ed: (Realizing.) Oh! “The best!”
(Ed got it! And so the song continues: “… Best-trials!”)
(Both Wanda and Sammy laugh a light, silly laugh.)
Miller: Terrestrials is your friendly neighborhood nature show. Hosted by me, Lulu Miller.
Miller: (Whispered, in shock.) What?!
Wanda: Mhm!
Miller: Check us out! September 22nd, wherever you get your podcasts.
(The music fades out, and so does the trailer.)
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