Number one. Being cheated on. Most recently it happened about a month ago. And it was crazy. My birthday is September 4th, same as Beyonce, and my ex-girlfriend, her birthday was December 4th and that's the same as Jay-Z. I don't believe in signs and spirituality that much, but right after, she had actually cheated on me and we broke up. She called me and was just like, "You know the Carters, like, look what happened." And she was just like, "they kind of figured their shit out." And she said that to me and it was kind of like that it something to think about.
Number two. Loneliness.
Number three. Embarrassment.
Number four. Sharks.
Number five. Disappointing my parents. I dropped out of culinary school and my father's this surgeon and he's accomplished so much in his life and I am never going to say this to his face but I mean hopefully you'll hear this. But, you know, he always taught me that like, whatever you want to do, you have to fuckin' put pride into it. Like, give a shit about it. And I stopped giving a shit. Like I don't even cook anymore and I don't know what I want to do. I don't know if I want to be a chef or if I want to lay in bed all day.
Number six. Letting people down.
Number seven. Drugs. Speaking very honestly. I know myself pretty well I think and I just feel like, you know, I'm not mentally the most strong person. Like I have gone out and partied and had amazing times with cooks after work. And I see the substances and the drugs and how that's just like the norm. It was kind of just like everyone, this is how we do it, this is how it how it goes. You kind of just have to come back in the morning, have your knife sharp and get to work. You know, I very much do have the fear of getting a serious addiction problem. Maybe?
Number eight. Myself.
Number nine. Separation anxiety from California. I did a small internship in Berkeley, California, and I was working at this beautiful restaurant in Berkeley called Chez Panisse. And I was so, I think, in love and infatuated by it. And just my whole, like, everything was working out for me there. Like I miss being there. Like I feel like I lost something.
Number ten. Death. If I died like right now, like I walk out of this building and like a fucking truck hits me or something, I will have been like -- well obviously I'll be dead -- but I'll be like, "Well, I died, but I didn't have any of my shit together." Like, I feel very lost. But the one good thing about being lost for me is everyone just keeps reminding me that I'm 20 years old.
My name is Rohan, and these are 10 things that scare me.