I just started recording I'll give a couple claps here. There we go.
Number one. My apartment will explode when I'm gone.
Number two. Running out of money.
Number three. My body shutting down and I won't be able to be a professional wrestler, physically, in the ring anymore, and that part of my life will be over. Creeping on 40 years old it's historically... it's coming up pretty soon. The doctor says that every time we fall on the mat it's like a tiny little car crash. I've wrestled in over 4000 matches, and I probably, you know, hit the mat 10 to 50 times in those matches. So I can imagine how many little car crashes I've been in. I'm sure my neck isn't exactly what a normal human being feels for a neck and that's taken out a lot of the wrestlers. Those spinal fusions and neck fusions have changed a lot of people's career trajectories.
Number four. Eating unhealthy on dates.Like, all I eat is egg whites and chicken and salads and I feel there's so many times where I've gone out and they're just like, “Let's get pizza! Let's get burgers!” and I'm just like, “I can't eat that, but fine.” And then I have this inner monologue with myself. I'm like, “Come on, just live your life, like, you know, who cares? Like, you know, maybe there's a connection. You'll never know unless you go eating tacos with this girl.” But then my other part is like, “No, you wrestle in a singlet for a living. Like, you can't just let yourself go.” Just a real back and forth inner monologue.
Number five. Ending the Colton name. I have one brother. He's older than me. He's 41 years old. He doesn't have any children. And then I'm 38 years old. I don't have any children. And it's really becoming more of a reality as both my brother and I get older. Like, there was a line of, like, thousands of people. My father's father's father's father's father's father. Like that went on for as long as people were around. And I think it's just crazy that I'm going to stop it.
Number six. I won't have empathy for giant losses in my life. You know, my father's been sick off and on. I mean, he's just dealing with depression and bipolar for years and he tried to take his own life. When that stuff happens you just question at that point. I did a lot of questioning of, “Why would he do this? Why would he want to leave the family? Does he not think he has a support system?” I start questioning... going at him, going at him. You know, I was also… not the hatred, but the emotion of me was saying, like, “Well if this is what he would want, fine.” And remembering that idea that I was kind of, like, “Fine he's gone.” And there's that fear of like, “Am I a robot? Is my brain not connected the right way? What's wrong with me?” Which is crazy, that as I say that sentence that's the most selfish thing I could ever hear. I'm thinking about a loved one passing and I'm saying, “What's wrong with me?”
Number seven. Any way dying that's not peaceful.
Number eight. Fish. So I just assume that they can easily just gang up and eat me because that's what their life is. They're all just battling each other in the ocean. It's just one big battle royal down there, and I'm just another thing coming in that they're unsure of, and they're all fending for themselves. It's like survival of the fittest down there. And so, you know, here's something they don't know about. So take it down and get rid of it.
Number nine. Driving on the road and my phone shuts off. Just recently I had taken some crazy trips to small town Indiana and I was just in a corn field and there was no gas stations or anything around me and I just think about the idea of my phone shutting off and then having not only to get to the venue, but I guess, having to get anywhere. No I don't have a map in my car anymore. I should.
And number 10. Small town America. I guess it’s not even small town. It's just, like, no town America. And when I do these drives all across the country there's some times where I just drive by nothing. I see a house and then I drive another five miles and there's nothing. And I'm always just like, “Where is life? Why are people here?”
My name is Scott Colton, but a lot of people know me as Colt Cabana professional wrestler, and these are 10 things that scare me.